J. Cole – Wet Dreamz
Gather ’round the fire, y’all. J’s got a story.
[Video][Website]
[4.00]
Will Adams: I don’t want to hear about J. Cole’s first time. I don’t want to recall my first time (hint: it wasn’t this cinematic… nor positive). I don’t want to think about the people who had their first time with me (hint: finding out through the grapevine that it was their first time is not the best feeling). I don’t want to contribute to the pervasive idealization of the first time, nor the pressure of sex to always be perfect, just like it is in the movies or in songs. Nor do I want to contribute to the stigma of teenage virginity. I sure as shit don’t want to think about wet dreams ever. I don’t want any of this.
[0]
Micha Cavaseno: Dreamz, with a Z. Naw but for real: this kid still can’t produce and possesses the barest minimum of narrative comprehension. His voice sounds like the beginning of a sneeze manifested into human life, and obviously I’m being really petty and fucking hate this kid, but, like, you named a song “Wet Dreamz” with a Z. Son…what?
[2]
Alfred Soto: Taking us back to a RZA production from 1995, J. Cole delves into the difficulty of walking around with a boner. He keys his sexual experience with the hook “I ain’t never did this before, no” — a relief after years of bragging. As usual what stands out is competence, not inspiration. I mean, I’m glad his first time was memorable enough to write about. It isn’t for most.
[5]
Brad Shoup: The hook was such a bad choice, at least the first time — Ghostface would have gone straight from her question to an answer that was anything but straight (I mention Dennis because “Child’s Play” is the best first-time cut by several miles). After that, it’s cool, sort of: you think Cole’s undercutting the idea of being born to do it, but then there’s that it-happened-to-me final couplet. Or is she telling him what he wants to hear? Cole’s production is a kind of throwback stasis: old school jams raising his expectations. For any kind of honesty alone, I dig this. For not making a hash of it, I applaud.
[7]
Thomas Inskeep: Yet another single proving to me that J. Cole is all hype: a dull sampling of “Impeach the President” for the thousandth time, plus a tale of his first sexual experience.
[2]
Ramzi Awn: Cole’s stride is undeniable, and he means it when he says he’s going to take you back. With too many hooks to count, “Wet Dreamz” is the perfect summer jam.
[8]
It took a little less than 10 months, but I’ve now “read the site from front to back” (and listened to and evaluated 30-40% of the songs)… I guess some recognition is in order:
Thanks y’all for your consistently enjoyable and frequently eye-opening commentary on the songs themselves (particularly Will, Brad, Katherine, Anthony, and Madeleine);
Thanks for further expanding my musical boundaries, and revealing the depth behind entire genres that I previously dismissed outright (the bizarrely mutating, multi-headed beasts that are K-Pop and J-Pop, the swathes of intelligent Country music that hide among blander fare, and a multitude of gloriously unique sub-genres that I’ll throw under the “Latin” umbrella, for example);
and finally (I’m a slave to the rule of three), thank you all for further removing that veneer of guilt that has always coated “cheesy” pop music for me – It has been an absolute pleasure to see pop receive its due analysis with all the seriousness of other, “more respectable” genres.
In closing, “Be My Baby” is the absolute best, and I look forward to the future of the site.
PS: Sorry for being wordy and a touch melodramatic, it’s a weakness of mine :/
PPS: Also, the rating system is a) genius, tbqh and b) hits all of the proper buttons for a numbers geek like myself.
Thank you! (and sorry your comment got stuck in spam filter limbo for a bit).
…did you read the Stylus era archives too?
I haven’t been able to locate that many of them, but I have read some (overall. I prefer the reviewers on this iteration, but the Stylus critics still make for a pretty good read).
Ok, after a little more research (ie, parsing through search results to find articles floating in cyberspace), I’d rank em as follows (mostly for aesthetic reasons):
Current Jukebox >>>> ’06 Combined Jukebox (I would presume ’07’s as well, but I couldn’t locate any of those) > ’05 Revamped UK Jukebox >> WBS’ Chart Reviews > Radio-Ga-Ga/Singles Going Steady Jukeboxes (too few decimal places :P)
all god’s TSJs are sacred
thank you so much
(Assuming you weren’t talking to Brad)
It’s my pleasure Anthony :)