The Singles Jukebox

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[Video]
[3.71]

Anna Katrina Lockwood: A novelty remix of a novelty hit, “Agatha All Along (Trap Remix)” is a practically recursive text. The purpose of this remix is totally undisguised, and it does seem to have been executed competently, if unimaginatively. Of course, the source material is such a joy it would take a much heavier hand than Mr. Philpot’s to destroy — there’s truly scarcely a detectable rework here aside from the trap beat absolutely railroaded through the original. It seems kind of unnecessary — but I did giggle at it on first listen, and who’s to say there’s anything in this life more necessary than a moment of joy? 
[5]

Rachel Saywitz: A bastardization of the original, which effortlessly spun up a theme song that sounds so familiar, it’s hard to remember that it wasn’t soundtracking any show from the 50s. Fading out the track’s spooky, humorous vocals in favor of a worn-out trap beat effectively mutes the high camp of it once had. 
[0]

Katie Gill: What are mediocre trap mixes if not memes persevering?
[5]

Alfred Soto: Is this performance supposed to offend me? Before answering the question, let’s figure out who this song — who this remix — is for.
[3]

Katherine St Asaph: I cannot score this song until The Discourse makes up its fucking mind about whether it is morally acceptable to enjoy WandaVision.
[5]

David Moore: Ah, WandaVision discourse! Another good one dropped a few hours ago (take, that is, not remix). I liked the first three eps before exposition ground everything to a halt, plus the spot-on Malcolm in the Middle parody — you can tell they had no feel or inclination for multi-cam, such a shame. As for psychological torture/abuse implications of having mind control superpowers, try Jessica Jones season 1; for uncanny exploration of superhero grief punctuated by gratuitous explosions, try Jessica Jones season 2; for examining the potential and limitations of repair of harm for… you know, superhero shit, try Jessica Jones season 3. This theme song is probably the weakest of the consistently good (and sometimes pretty great) WV theme songs by the Frozen, etc. duo (I recently learned that Kristen Anderson-Lopez is a commercial jingle savant whose mentor wrote the iconic Klondike and Bounty paper towel jingles — and it shows!), not least because it’s soundtracking a “reveal to nowhere,” introducing a twist that changes nothing about the show and ultimately makes it a little worse, if only for throwing yet another purple-fire-power-blaster into the sky for twenty minutes. But I’m not going to dock the show too many points for being what it can’t help itself but to be, or the songs any points at all for being insubstantial or cloying, since that’s also why they’re good. Lucky for me, this specific trap remix is bad as music before even getting to a whole other swarm of contextual social stuff around memes and remix and internet culture and whatever else that I am confident other people can and will expound on better than I probably could. (And hey, while I’m doing my own expounding, a quick recommendation to also go back to Agent Carter, the actual best MCU show about a woman processing the apparent death of their superhero partner by burying herself in weird work. Comes with a funny Jarvis of its own and adheres with more fidelity to its chosen genre send-up — and, not for nothing, it’s a hoot.)
[2]

Nortey Dowuona: Trippin on Marvel like trippin on gumStop wasting your money and burning your tongueWhile kicking your toms off and downing your ZoloftThe fillings feel so soft as your throat goes numbY’all should’ve known it was her from the beginning Bring out Mephisto he’ll outshine VisionThe Devil is a liar who kills your neighborhood pigeonsNo time to go piss in Taylor Sloane’s kitchenKathryn and being the villain go together like broachesPinned on cravats worn by well-to-do roachesSo obvious it was bigger than Jaxon And more out there than Iceman killing TaxxonsI ain’t even tapped in but I knew itThe most of y’all weren’t Todd HewittStop mytholgizing, say screw it and singIT WAS AGATHA ALL ALONG
[6]