Another contender for Ultimate Soda-Titled Song enters the ring…

[Video]
[6.17]

Kylo Nocom: Given TikTok’s fixation on seconds-long bits of gratification, trends that involve unreleased tracks only amplify how frustrating it is to know these songs won’t ever be officially available. Lana Del Rey’s “Queen of Disaster” is a lost cause, Azealia Banks’s “Competition” already got refurbished into “Luxury,” and the beat to “Blueberry Faygo” was apparently bought by another rapper before Lil Mosey could put this out. Of course, something must have been worked out eventually, because after a year of hopeless waiting we’ve finally got something. Callan’s production brings back the best of summer 2016 with a low-pass filter of a wordless vocal sample, while Lil Mosey’s counting hook has the confidence .Paak’s lame posturing never had on “RNP.” Very little else happens asides from hook, a smart move considering that it was always going to be the best part of the song, and thus “Blueberry Faygo” does everything it was required to do.
[9]

Natasha Genet Avery: TikTok, by design, rewards gif-sized perfection –“Blueberry Faygo’s” 12-second chorus, with its NSFW nursery rhyme melody (“one bad bitch, two big 40’s…”), a bubbly Johnny Gill sample, and a catchy producer tag that’s fun to lip-sync (Damn, Callan!), was destined to spur an easy-to-follow dance trend. But even the best gifs grow tired after a few loops, and “Blueberry Faygo” goes flat despite a 2:22 runtime.
[5]

Oliver Maier: This melody does not warrant having a hook built around it, much less every line of an entire song. Mosey flattens the spritely beat under his rote delivery and cement-coloured personality.
[3]

Brad Shoup: The hook’s so good he doesn’t want to leave. And I get it, even though my brain keeps trying to switch to “Tom’s Diner.”
[7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Lil Mosey still lacks charisma and interesting things to say. But “Blueberry Faygo” is so insistently hooky, from the count-up hook to the muzak-type beat, that it doesn’t even matter. In fact, his lack of personality lets the whole song breathe — Callan’s production is the star here, airy and locked into a groove: Mosey just a side dish.
[7]

Tim de Reuse: What could’ve been totally forgettable becomes oddly compelling by virtue of the clutter in the beat; the filtered, sped-up R&B sample, luscious seventh chords, and breathy backing vocals leave absolutely no moment free of messy detail. I’d happily nod along while half-perceiving this on someone else’s car radio.
[6]