Drink up!

[Video]
[7.92]

Alex Clifton: I would write a more coherent review, but honestly this song is three minutes of me just yelling “HELL YEAH, HELL YEAH, HELL YEAH!!!!!”, so make of that what you will.
[8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: EAT YOUR HEART OUT, BRUNO MARS
[10]

Crystal Leww: Lizzo taking a play out of Bruno Mars’s book to get into her Prince phase is something I can get behind. Remember that jolt of lightning that “Gotta kiss myself I’m so pretty” was? Take that and magnify it by ten with “Heard you say I’m not the baddest, bitch, you lie.”
[8]

Jonathan Bradley: Lizzo’s personality begs to take the place of the song — she is effervescent and playful and a whole lot of fun to be around — but “Juice” remains a song. Unfortunately, that song is a very modest funk that works so hard to realize its throwback ambitions that Bruno Mars might have rejected it as too much schtick.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: I blame Bruno Mars for this latest exhilarating cut of Minneapolis-made, Princely funk sounding like autopilot. But to be fair, “Juice” kind of is Lizzo on autopilot, self-admittedly (“don’t even gotta try”), with a tossed-off post-chorus — which is still more exhilarating than 90% of artists.
[6]

Will Adams: Turns out five years is the amount of time it takes for me to become bearish on this style of shiny funk pop, but “Juice” gets by on the sheer force of Lizzo’s personality. Things get interesting in the last minute when the rhythm section goes into overdrive; the rest is the funnest fluff you could find.
[6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Say hello to the most agreeable pop song of the year. If this exceedingly generic funk pop was handled by anyone without Lizzo’s level of charisma then it’d be an automatic dud, but she sells every single line, even the most hackneyed. I wish the bridge was more robust, but the song swings back around to the chorus soon enough that it’s not a huge detriment.
[5]

Alfred Soto: Holy hell, that riff — even the reverb works. Boasting about the quality of her bodily fluids, Lizzo promotes sex positivity while keeping her rhythm section employed. This is a track where cowbell and timbales dare the audience to blame them for their juice. 
[8]

Nortey Dowuona: The echoing, clanging guitars and open, slipping drums carry Lizzo’s bright, light-footed coo and oration, while the slithering, squeezing bass drips orange juice around her, which she then surfs into the clouds, just as slivers of guitar snarls and full-throated horns roar. It’s perfect.
[10]

Thomas Inskeep: This upbeat, ’80s-inspired pop/R&B/club track (if you’re looking for antecedents, think Gwen Guthrie) is the definition of “ebullient.”
[10]

Ian Mathers: I had to go back and check, but yeah this may be even more unrestrainedly, exuberantly joyful (not to mention motivating – I might need to start playing this for myself every Monday morning) than “Good As Hell”, and that song already made me feel like I could punch the ceiling off of whatever room I’m in.
[10]

William John: Lizzo releasing a clarion call to the ballroom this luminous in early January might seem perplexing, but I think it can be rationalised in one of two ways — either she’s particularly fond of her fans in the southern hemisphere and wished to impart on them a summer’s gift, or she figured that in early January, where most of us oscillate between feeling hopeful for new beginnings and hopeless at the thought of another year ahead on this slowly burning furnace of a planet, songs which resolutely emphasise the joys in drawing confidence from oneself become imperative. No matter the reason, it’s here, it’s big, and it sounds at once like the beach and a wedding and a rainbow-lit club and the sort of thing I’d wiggle my bum to while washing up. Whether it will stick around long enough to impact the northern hemisphere summer is a question yet unanswered, but we can hope and dance contentedly in the meantime.
[9]

Nicholas Donohoue: I was a big Lizzo skeptic — she was obviously a charismatic performer with a clear message as to what she’s achieving, but that message was for someone who wasn’t me. It turns out I’m a huge idiot, because Lizzo being herself and using every bit of herself is for everyone. “Juice” isn’t my favorite track from her, but the brass section, the Jane Fonda Workout aesthetic, the beautiful line of gross and sexy she walks on the word juice: it’s something only Lizzo could serve right now.
[8]