The Singles Jukebox

I’d have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy giiiirl…

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[5.78]

Alfred Soto: More than two years after its release, Maren Morris’s debut still coughs up strong material. This whip snapper of a second track cops the Steve Miller Band for the kind of nyah-nyah hook that’ll delight the jokers and midnight tokers at her shows. Pure pleasure in performance, and why not?
[7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A perfectly adequate bit of stomping pop country that mostly just sounds like a cover band forgetting how “The Joker” goes, elevated by Morris’ deeply compelling vocal performance, which sells what could have been a corny set of money & heartbreak jokes more skillfully than they deserve.
[6]

Stephen Eisermann: Sounding like a song by the Steve Miller Band is actually kind of a plus, but the all too casual lyrics sound more like a rush job at trying to be cool than a complete song. Album deadlines are a serious thing, I’m sure, but, If I had a dime every time that you crossed my mind/Well, I’d basically be sitting on a big ass pile of dimes, isn’t a clever lyric, it just comes across as lazy.
[5]

Tim de Reuse: Other than than the sly roll of the line “Shit, I’d be rich,” it does very little to establish any kind of attention-grabbing personality — while listening it’s hard to really think about anything other than whether or not Steve Miller’s gonna have his lawyers send Morris a letter. But, hey, it’s punchier than ninety percent of the bro-country schlock I’ve heard this decade, even with that bewildering power-pop piano jangling away in the background.
[5]

Edward Okulicz: Okay, maybe I’m just salty because why do artists have to always release the worst song they have as a single seemingly just to annoy me? And then it becomes a sizeable hit just to rub salt into the wound. This is a kilo of attitude and good singing but only about a gram’s worth of decent songwriting. All that’s here is a cribbed groove, a dull hook and lazy lyrics. Come on, Maren, literally any other song other than this one! Any other song!
[3]

Vikram Joseph: This is a playful, crunchy jolt, and a lot of fun, even allowing for the indisputable melodic similarity to – of all things – “Angel” by Shaggy.
[7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Steve Miller Band-informed country pop that’s pleasant enough due to Maren Morris’s soaring performance. She sells the “shit, I’d be rich” delivery but it’s the song’s other accoutrements that elevate the lyrics beyond humdrum familiarity. In particular, the call and response between Morris’s “la-di-da” melody and the cascading guitar riff provide a musical simulacrum of the song’s conceit. The chorus’s piano chords help to round it out by sounding like a bunch of clinking coins.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: The instrumental has welcome Shania Twain/Mutt Lange oomph, and lines like “If I had a dime every time that you crossed my mind — well, I’d basically be sitting on a big-ass pile of dimes” sit just on the right side of swaggering vs. obnoxious. Maren Morris has taken endless shit for daring to make pop music, but I fundamentally don’t understand people who prefer warmed-over country casserole to this.
[7]

Tobi Tella: After achieving pop crossover stardom with “The Middle”, it’s nice to see Maren Morris release one of the more country songs on her debut album, and also one of the better ones. It embraces the unabashedly goofy spirit that can be found in a lot of country music and although the subject matter is not unique whatsoever, the lyrics are fun and Maren’s delivery makes it for me. The pure exasperation with every “shit” reminds me why she’s one of the most promising new country-pop stars.
[7]