The Singles Jukebox

Incorrect! The password to the Jukebox is actually “T$wift4evA” (it’s case sensitive).

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[5.33]

Patrick St. Michel: Morning Musume (errrr, Morning Musume ’14) are the ideal J-pop idol group. This is a group that has been in existence since 1997, yet none of the members appearing on “Password Is 0” were with the group then. Most of them were toddlers then, but the name Morning Musume is so strong as to make that a non-factor. Part of the reason they can still top the charts in 2014 is because the minds behind the group have adapted to the times… and excelled beyond their inspiration. Morning Musume are now the EDM-idol group, but whereas other J-pop acts sprinkle wubs over their music, they construct intricate songs taking the sound in places far more rewarding than most. Credit head-honcho Tsunku and Okubo Kaoru for crafting a song that is catchy, creepy (that robo voice!), lyrically strong (it’s full of typically boring J-popisms about doing your best… but works as a weird existentialism and a vow to protect their family) and energetic. Brostep gone brainy, and it isn’t even the best track on the single.
[8]

Iain Mew: “There is nothing I hide from you!” I swapped email passwords with a girl online once. She told me that my email archive was a bit dull; I learned how many men will email photos of their penis on the slightest pretext; we both had more secure passwords than “0”. It could have been more dramatic, and probably would be in these more connected days. It’s not actually what the rest of the song is about, but I like the idea of representing the emotional possibilities of the digital world through apocalyptic collisions of electronic sounds and chanting, especially ones as inventive as these.
[8]

Katherine St Asaph: Gotta love that this quote by the writer: “But since I have noticed that ‘there’s zero reason to be born,’ writing the lyrics went great.” And its non-existential despairing counterpart: “The song was formerly born to be a commercial song… but I shifted it from ‘cheerful, active song for a student discount’ to ‘cool, speedy and thrilling song.'” Which is the best kind of shift.
[7]

Alfred Soto: I haven’t made this admission yet: I wish I understood the lyrics. For once. I mean, the arrangement doesn’t justify the fabulous title.
[4]

Will Adams: The dismal mixing and garish techno-blast lend credence to the idea that the password is “0.” Sounds like anyone could have logged in and produced this.
[4]

Thomas Inskeep: Apparently this is what happens when you give young Japanese girls large amounts of crystal meth, cocaine, and go-go juice at the same time.
[0]

Edward Okulicz: Not just sugary, actually feels like the aural equivalent of downing soup spoons of actual sugar with no actual flavour mixed in to be heightened. Sweet is necessary but not sufficient, and shrieky isn’t hooky. The joyless hyperactivity makes “Password is 0” an actual chore to endure. I like the weird, inhuman laughter that pops up though.
[2]

Brad Shoup: It’s encouragement and taunt, kind of like the “Ain’t It Fun” bridge, but spanning an electro purgatory. They’ve got a lot to say, but not as much concern for how it’s said, letting the cackling demon voice tweak the mood. They’re steering, but they’re not navigating.
[6]

David Sheffieck: Someday in The Future, we’ll all be nostalgic for a time when pop BPMs regularly landed in a sub-130 space. There will be spontaneous protests leading to large-scale revolts and the overthrow of governments around the world. On that day, it will be declared punishable by death to play “Password is 0,” the song that made it seem so alluring to create sugar-rush pop at heart-exploding tempos.
[9]