The Singles Jukebox

2future4Aqua…

[Video][Website]
[4.73]

Jonathan Bradley: Pitbull’s recent conversion to trashy Euro-dance has been unexpectedly fruitful; it seems a shame he wasn’t given the opportunity to sell out earlier. Of course he needed rap’s flirtation with trance to facilitate his voyage into the strobe-lit unknown, but once he found himself there, he fit in with far more grace than those Flo Rida or Jim Jonsin interlopers. Maybe it’s because Pitbull’s hometown of Miami is practically a nightclub anyway, and a rapper as immersed in his neighborhood as this one knows intuitively to pick a beat that bangs without being overwhelming, and how to turn his rap into a congenial toast rather than an exercise in lewd banality.
[6]

Martin Skidmore: Pitbull makes me smile, especially when he departs from the beat for an adlibbish aside, but it’s all kind of mediocre, really.
[6]

Erick Bieritz: Jumbling his space references with reckless abandon, Pitbull is uncharacteristically a bit silly on this single (breaking stride for the “huge-alistic” joke more than once is pretty questionable). The loose approach isn’t terrible, but Pitbull’s better moments keep his considerable energy tightly wound. Fergie is surprisingly tolerable in “A Milli” form.
[6]

Martin Kavka: When did Fergie become worth sampling? Sheeee-it, when did she become worth *anything*?
[1]

Michaelangelo Matos: I’d almost allowed myself to succumb to Fergie’s instant-standard “I’m so 3008/You’re so 2000-and-late,” so I owe this conglomerate thanks for bringing me back from the brink. Now if only someone with even fewer ideas were to sample “I know it ain’t a word, but that’s some supercalifragilistic futuristic shit” into a track that worked despite everyone involved with it, we’d be all the way through the looking glass.
[5]

Anthony Miccio: The familiar samples, both timeless (Cybotron!) and timely (Fergie?), would be more effective in the blur of a mixtape. It’s a more pleasing backdrop than those on either of Pitbull’s recent chart smashes, but equally forgettable.
[6]

John Seroff: Knucklehead poplocking-by-numbers for fauxhawked Gen-Z’ers who think Cybotron is a robot drag queen. Everything about this follow-the-bouncing-bass club track has been done better; from Pitbull’s always enjoyable ADD hypercackle riffs (‘Shake’, of course) and the “featuring” single-bar sample from Fergie (‘Boom Boom Pow’, natch) to the aforementioned re-re-re-Cybotron sample (Missy, duh). This is a two day old chocolate doughnut: better fresher, disposable tomorrow, palatable tonight only as a late night snack.
[5]

Chuck Eddy: Okay, LMFAO are Berry Gordy’s son and (great?) nephew, right? So does that mean Redfoo is the brother of Rockwell (of “Somebody’s Watching Me” fame and “Obscene Phone Caller” non-fame), or half-brother, or what? Anyway, I’m not exactly clear on what LMFAO do here. But they, Fergie, and Pitbull sure do seem proud to be shameless.
[7]

Matt Cibula: Crippity-crap like this makes me long for the good old days of 3Oh!3.
[2]

Anthony Easton: The desire for the future suggests that no one is paying attention to the times that we are living in.
[5]

Dave Moore: Fergie and LMFAO “featured” roles: strike one (both for sampling a decent Fergie line into wallpaper and allowing LMFAO anywhere near anything). Nondescript beat punctuated with videogame chromatic scales and third-rate horror synths: strike two. Half-assed and particularly dumb Pitbull spotlight turn in which he seems to amuse only himself: strike
[3]