The Singles Jukebox

So we sent our robot to write some reviews of it.

[Video][Website]
[4.50]

Jessica Doyle: I want to say that the rhythm’s too jaunty for the metaphor, and that the metaphor doesn’t entirely hold up (why would a computer get sick of a song?), and that No More Kings did better with similar subject matter back in 2013. That’s what I want to say, and give the [5] and go about my business. The problem is, late January through late March is now a slightly porous time of year for me: late January 2013 was when my mother’s oncologist said to me and my father, “Her cancer has been sneaky and resilient from the beginning,” and then the process of losing her accelerated, and her losing the world, to the point that consciousness equaled pain for her; and then on March 28th of that year it was over for her but not for us. I miss her all the time but more so lately. I keep a scrap of her handwriting in my purse and her law school ID on my dresser. I keep, but don’t look at, her emails and our archived chats in my Gmail, and those emails and chats were the first thing I thought of when I read the San Francisco Chronicle story last year about the grieving man who created an AI in the image of his late fiancée. Would I take my mother back in robot form, deceive myself enough to play along? I wouldn’t — at least, I haven’t yet — but what I have of her is photographs, written notes, messages: data. If only I could process it. In the meantime somehow hearing “Robot Writes a Love Song” once left me crying and I don’t want to listen to it again. So, good job, PUP, I guess?
[6]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Grey’s Anatomy seasons 1-3 soundtrack music: charming, youthful, too spunky for its own good. 
[6]

John Pinto: A fun mutation on the “this sounds like X meets Y” school of music criticism is reverse-engineering the construct into “I wish X would cover Y.” Example: I never realized until now that I want Parquet Courts to cover this Emperor X song.
[7]

Tobi Tella: An exceedingly twee conceit improved by intense commitment to the bit. And the Soundgarden sneak diss is just the right level of petty!
[7]

Thomas Inskeep: Alert the media: punk band goes poppish, writes “clever” lyrics, sounds like a not-as-good version of Weezer. And I hate Weezer. As an added bonus, singer Stefan Babcock’s voice makes me want to permanently remove my ears.
[0]

Alfred Soto: The pseudo-grimy guitar sections are the best; when the song goes quiet it gets grim, a pop punk “Someone That I Used to Know.”
[5]

Edward Okulicz: Probably a good hook or two in here, and several bites of other songs that are pretty clever. But I wish they’d got a robot to sing it because this guy’s voice is a nothing whine. Can’t ride the twee sweetly or bite down on the attempt at snark in the lyrics, so I can’t digest them. Plus I only wish I still heard “Black Hole Sun” on the radio.
[3]

Ady Thapliyal: We should have never let pop punk get this twee.
[2]