The Singles Jukebox

Today we teach former queens how to set an alarm on their phones.

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[4.14]

Micha Cavaseno: The weird case of Remy Ma in the last year or so has been kind of a rare and bizarre anomaly. On the one hand, she was coming off a miraculous comeback run following the success of “All The Way Up” with mentor Fat Joe, a rarity for a woman rapper a decade past her ‘could’ve been’ commercial prime who’d been incarcerated for a good chunk of that period. Yet on the other hand, she was a staunch true schooler attempting to feud with the aggressively self-imposed current queen of rap, Nicki Minaj, and that their attempts at career dogfighting got overshadowed by the supremacy of “Bodak Yellow” resulted in both attempting to court favor with an artist they both could rap circles around in their sleep if they focused, demonstrated the shaky reality of their antics. Even in attempting to harness her efforts into commercial passability with the assistance of Lil’ Kim (someone who’s WAY WAY WAAAAY past HER primes in any sense), Remy just does not have the confidence to commit to the record the way so many New Yorkers over the age of 30 who remember ‘the good times’ sound shook. The amount of people who are going to care about “Wake Me Up” and its metadrama is dwindling by the minute, because life is too short and who gives a shit about who’s fucking Nas (for heaven’s sake I can’t convince anyone under the age of 25 Nas is better than NAV these days!).
[2]

Thomas Inskeep: I love love love hearing Remy aping the classic Kim “Queen Bitch” flow, both rhythmically (since the song is built around the original) and tonally, with her voice. And bringing Kim onto the record to deliver the chorus (in a different tone) is a nice twist. I mean, I’m in my late 40s, so the sound of ’90s hip-hop is like ice cream to me, and this sounds good. It’s not groundbreaking or anything, but it’s definitely a head-nodder.
[7]

Alfred Soto: A sad record — lord knows I wanted Remy Ma to do more than awkwardly rap over a rather generous selection of Lil Kim’s own “Queen Bitch.” Give her a real comeback, please. 
[4]

Katie Gill: A weird beat, a weird flow from Remy where she seems perpetually behind and a confusing lack of Lil Kim. If you’re going to stick Lil Kim on the chorus, at least give her one that sounds slightly interesting and won’t put you to sleep.
[4]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Not particularly convincing as a lead single if only because the homage — all the way down to Biggie/Lil’ Kim’s flow — reads more as unimaginative than a signifier of talent or clout. Even worse, the “Queen Bitch” herself sounds more like a “Mediocre Jester.”
[3]

Edward Okulicz: Expecting all guns blazing, and an epic Kim verse, there really wasn’t either. Ma’s verses are themselves OK, packing in boasts with impressive density once she gets going, but Kim’s hook feels like she’s being wheeled into the studio to perform the barest minimum she can do to get a feature credit. Coming back by reminding everyone of someone else’s peaks is a funny thing to be trying.
[4]

Ryo Miyauchi: It’s probably still a tad too early to refer to this piano-player beat that’s essentially a G-Unit B-side circa Beg for Mercy as throwback New York, but it’s at least a breath of fresh air in a funereal post-ASAP landscape. Remy Ma, meanwhile, takes a minute to lock into what should be her comfort zone. Maybe some more Lil Kim would’ve helped get her up to speed.
[5]