The Jukebox is not a vexatious litigant, so we will refrain.

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[4.56]

Katherine St Asaph: Perverse that in 2019 it’s such a weird relief to hear a pop song with a huge, soaring, Looney Tunes anvil-unsubtle hook, one that cranks the register up on the chorus, not down. Granted, there’s nowhere else to go — Carpenter’s vocal on the verses, like seemingly half of pop artists, aims for trap Rihanna and lands on Bella Hadid talking sneakers. It’s particularly jarring since the verses of “Sue Me” seem grafted in from a more adult song than the not-quite-past-teenpop chorus. It’s a little like Louisa Johnson’s “Best Behavior“; her ex is jealous over such wild behavior as looking “pretty” and wearing their favorite color.
[5]

Katie Gill: Carpenter gives us a paint by numbers, by the book, ‘I’m doing much better after the break-up, thanks for asking’ song that we’ve all heard before and will continue to hear until the end of time. The most innovative thing about this track is the Legally Blonde stylings of the music video and even THAT’S something we’ve seen before in the past three months.
[5]

Thomas Inskeep: God help us, Bebe Rexha is apparently now an influence.
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Alfred Soto: Meghan Trainor injected a performative archness into pop that’s coursed through the veins of a generation like a bacillus. 
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Ian Mathers: I’m a sucker for productions that are just a bit more lush and… smeared? woozy? than I expected, for percussion that’s just a little more interesting than it really needs to be, and just for sarcasm generally. So I’m a sucker for this.
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Joshua Minsoo Kim: A teen pop version of “Sorry Not Sorry” right down to the hackneyed lyrics of self-love and Oak producer credit. Sabrina Carpenter singing “feeling myself can’t be illegal” is unimaginative, but it’s something that’s said so it becomes her own personal truth. The choir that echoes her words signals to the listener that she’s succeeded. “Sue Me” may be as corny as anything on Girl Meets World, but Carpenter exudes a confidence that finds her announcing “world, meet girl.”
[6]

Alex Clifton: With every Sabrina Carpenter song I come so close to liking it but there’s always something that prevents me from liking it fully. With “Almost Love” I thought the tension was phenomenal but hated the way she swallowed her words in the pre-chorus and outro. With “Sue Me” I love the confidence and swagger she has, but am beyond irritated that I’m hearing snippets of other songs stitched in like a patchwork single. There’s the humming intro from “Stay,” pronunciations that sound like they came from a Rihanna song, the clapping build from “Burn,” and a chorus melody from a BTS song. I got so distracted while listening to this song trying to figure out what bits reminded me of songs I’ve heard before that I ended up losing any sense of the actual artist herself. It’s not to say that all pop music sounds the same, not by a longshot. But I want one single track by Carpenter where I can enjoy it all the way through without being irritated by small random details by the end. At this rate, it’ll be a while before I get that song.
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Stephen Eisermann: It’s really hard to dislike a good ‘fuck you’ track, especially when it’s meant to be against a recording label but it’s effectively disguised as a relationship kiss-off. Sabrina comes across confidently and she exudes a sexy swag as she sings – something that pop stars older than her strive for but can’t achieve. The poppy production is equally great, if a bit too similar to Demi’s “Sorry Not Sorry,” and the combination makes for an all-around solid single choice. 
[7]

Iris Xie: Who still says “sue me” casually in 2019?! It’s impressive though, how close it hues to a perfected pop template of a sassy, brassy diva-type vocalist to a trap EDM beat, with the specifically timed escalations of how she sings “Sue me!” with increasing urgency and sincere dedication. Unfortunately, it’s also an incredibly awkward phrase and exposes the seams of well-made pop, when the execution and idea don’t quite entirely sync, but the execution is so devoted that the idea will get carried through to completion. The production is crisp and well-made, but this is indistinguishable from other songs with this palette. 
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