The Singles Jukebox

iS iT tOo LaTE tO mAkE ThiS jOKe aNymORe?

[Video][Website]
[6.00]

Alfred Soto: What jargon-istas call a “reset” was supposed to happen last spring on the release of his solo album, which showed he had funny ideas about typography and not much else.  Providing a slinky sonic setting for Zayn to flaunt his own snake hips should be easy enough for Oliver Lee and James Carter. The chorus works. He’s lucky that “your body hurts me” gets buried in the verses.
[5]

Will Adams: If nothing else, Zayn’s miserable album demonstrated that he’s at least a few years away from being able to command a solo career. Snakehips offer a temporary solution, to bury him in pumping, super-rhythmic production. Zayn being Zayn, though, tries real hard, meaning he’s usually able to peek his head out of the frenzy, so it’s a half-victory.
[5]

Edward Okulicz: I encourage anyone who thinks Bieber tries too hard to listen to this for some perspective. Zayn tries really really hard to convey feelings of dread and agony about his sex drive that it almost undercuts the pleasure. Fortunately the stuffed sonics of the production have enough to latch on to.
[6]

Patrick St. Michel: Zayn remains a deeply uninteresting pop star, a half-awake singer who still really wants you to know he fucks. Thankfully he gets wrapped up in the SoundCloud whirlwind of Snakeships, sounding more interesting than ever when his vocals get pitch-shifted in every direction and blanketed in candy-bright synths. When Snakeships take over and just make this as unnatural sounding as possible, it works well.
[5]

Juana Giaimo: Very few artists can make a sexy danceable social themed song, and these two definitely can’t. Snakeships are enjoying the rather catchy beat completely deaf to the rest of the world or to Zayn, whose voice has no personality this time, even in that melodic outro that little has to do with the rest of the song.
[5]

Peter Ryan: It’s not hard to transpose Erik Hassle’s voice onto this, but it would be all wrong — he mopes nicely against a perky backdrop, but this needs Zayn’s huskier tones, his messier, almost-off-beat-ball-of-feelings phrasing. This also couldn’t be Hassle because our narrator is busy being Zayn — pining but proud, going on about fame and fakes and the world (and surveillance?), beautiful desolation and whatnot — but thankfully without the wild grasping at Maturity that’s riddled his solo career so far. Structurally, his midtempo banger batting average has been mixed, but it’s decidedly stronger than his slow jam game — if he wants to keep things from stalling out after album one, this is a sensible door to choose. Snakehips pack enough frenetic bells and whistles in to make it stand out while staying squarely within safe radio territory, and crucially, it’s got a great thirsty chorus for shouting. I don’t expect the next Zayn single to continue in this vein, but at the very least it stands a good chance at keeping him relevant while he figures out his next move.
[7]

Scott Mildenhall: Never have the letters CCTV been sung so passionately. CCTV doesn’t really “loop” of course, but the line sounds good, and so does Zayn, as well he might. How could he be more at home, singing about thinking what the hell am I doing drinking in LA as A Normal 22 23 Year Old, alongside the makers of “All My Friends” and Erik Hassle? Finding glitches in the glamour seems something they all enjoy, and this jittering dance around sincere sentimentality only reinforces that.
[8]

Gin Hart: YOUR BODY HURTS ME/LOOPING ROUND LIKE CCTV/IN ALL THIS BITTERNESS, YOU STAY SO SWEET//SUNRISE IN HOLLYWOOD/WE HAVEN’T SLEPT FOR DAYS/PERFECT DISASTER/ME AND YOU. No offense, but this is some underdeveloped dystopian sci-fi about mid-apocalyptic love, and also it’s kinda funky. I’m a sucker for genre fictions. 
[7]