The Singles Jukebox

Or is that “all phonez” on me?

[Video][Website]
[5.71]

Thomas Inskeep: Welcome back, Scott Storch. It’s been a damn long time since he’s been behind the boards for a legit hit, but t for much of the late ’90s and early ’00s, he was one of the kings of hip-hop and R&B. And it looks like he’s come back from the wilderness with this low-key track for the Game, which is to my utter shock and dismay a love song, and not just that, but it’s a love song from the Game that works — that I believe. Having Jeremih riding shotgun to sing the hook doesn’t hurt (it’s his least annoying hook job in a while), but what really matters is that both the Game and Storch have grown up. The Game actually tells his girl that he’s about to massage her feet — that’s not the sound of a man just trying to hit it and quit it. And Storch’s production is perfectly complimentary, basically just a clean and simple click track, a rubbery bassline, and some atmospheric keys. This comes together in surprising, refreshing ways, and I’ma listen the hell out of this.
[8]

Iain Mew: What happens with the title line is a weird one. “I must look amazing with you ‘cos every time you on my arm I got all eyes on me” is really interesting, going beyond trophy concepts to being enhanced personally by someone else. Then the rest of the song does nothing with the idea at all, ditching it for much more standard sex and relationship talk which doesn’t quite make it to sweet. Disconnected, Jeremih’s hook doesn’t take too long before wearing.
[4]

Alfred Soto: I thought it would take more resources at my disposal to listen to Jeremih beseeching a girl not to fake it after he did some molly. No wonder The Game leaves in the middle.
[3]

Ryo Miyauchi: Jeremih provides a wink and a flip to California legacy in a way The Game wishes he had the nuance and cleverness to ever think up. Even Scott Storch delivers with his knock off of the modern post-Mustard West Coast dance floor. The Game, meanwhile, doesn’t rap as much as he blurts whatever come ons he can think in the moment as he’s trying to get the attention of a woman already leaving the venue. He’s way too spoiled by his guests to underwhelm like this.
[5]

Edward Okulicz: “All sounding the same like Future and Desiigner/that’s my vagina” was the line that captured perhaps the second-most of my attention out of any. The first? The Scott Storch tag. Those two things represent the worst and best things about the song, and I don’t remember any of the big Storch productions being this light and breezy. Such calls for a light and breezy hook — Jeremih’s is made to order, but The Game’s anatomical references are trying too hard.
[6]

Juana Giaimo: The Game’s chill flow isn’t bad, but he is completely overshadowed by the smooth vocals by Jeremih who knows better how to sound sensual.
[6]

Natasha Genet Avery: The arc in “All Eyez” is perfect. At first, this seems like a song about flirtation: over breezy, bouncy synths, Jeremih serves some standard come-ons and The Game does some jetsetter posturing. But the track switches in the second verse, and we realize that The Game’s game hasn’t always been strong– his girl wouldn’t even give him a read receipt before. This dose of honesty makes the second chorus feel more consequential: the Game doesn’t pretend like he “won her over” cause it’s clear that she made this decision on her own terms. Throughout, the Game is light-footed, spilling in and out of bars–he’s giddy and sort of dorky (I’m obsessed with his delivery of “now you’re in my living room twerking, that’s craaazy!”). The whole song feels like a conversation they’re having in bed the morning after, reminiscing about how it all began and making grand plans for the future. The callousness of “hookup culture” has been the central theme of many an anti-Millennial thinkpiece, but “All Eyez” finds lust and tenderness outside of coupledom.
[8]