The Singles Jukebox

Thanks for the Ibsen slash fic, John.

[Video][Website]
[3.88]

John Seroff: Unpalatable schlock, like If I Stay MRM fanfic or A Doll’s House retold from a millennial Torvald’s point of view. Your fantasy is that the one you love is in a coma and the plan is to wake sleeping beauty with vague devotion, self-aggrandizement and the sheer goddamn glory of your adolescent, hydra-like presence? News flash, pals: she got this way by popping a blood vessel when you rhymed “right here” with “right here” for the fourth time. Please stop standing right in front of me and leave the ICU.
[2]

Micha Cavaseno: Oh, I get it: by, like, remembering the MGMT lick, and bringing that back to life, the coma/awaken metaphor and…yeah, that’s cool, I guess, but, man, this song is boring.
[2]

Will Adams: That distorted synth hook is insistent enough to burrow into your brain, but it’s difficult to avoid imagining that these kids are singing to a girl who’s actually in a coma and cringing as a result.
[4]

Scott Mildenhall: Feel that drone. The mixing of mangled metaphors is clearly Serious Business, but fear not, because they are also here to temper that seriousness with non-specific affirmation. “Wake Up” is an anthem caught between intimate reassurance and stadium portentousness, and it falls short of both. The hand on the shoulder is an empty gesture, given it has no grip on the problem, and at the same time The Vamps can’t quite pull off arena-size emotions, not least with something so lumbering.
[5]

Thomas Inskeep: I’m not sure why the Vamps don’t get the kinda respect that One Direction or 5 Seconds of Summer do; their pop-rock sounds much more sincere to these ears. 1D are Backstreet wearing Ramones t-shirts, whereas the Vamps are at least more Blondie-meets-the-Strokes, albeit played by “cute” young men.
[5]

Alfred Soto: For those who’ll miss the original line up, here’s One Direction doing “We Are Young.”
[4]

Brad Shoup: That synth almost wriggles out of the Passion Pit. Its freedom is the only reason I’d stick around.
[5]

Patrick St. Michel: Remember that brief window that opened a little less than ten years ago when MGMT suddenly became the most influential band in the world? The Vamps might, since “Wake Up” features a squiggly synthesizer line that makes me think of “Time To Pretend.” Whereas those two Wesleyan goofballs knew how to make a joke, “Wake Up” transfers it to a big, festival-eyeing singalong, “earnest” if “earnest” is code for boring. Guys, you can stop playing safe, not just say you are.
[4]