The Singles Jukebox

Yup, we really did only review one song by her this year…

[Video][Website]
[6.29]

Dan MacRae: If I dissect “Halo”, I can see all the ways it’s designed to manipulate me as a listener. The heartbeat percussion, the bombastic string/synth lift, Beyonce’s proclamation of devotion bubbling through with every lyric. “Halo”’s contents can be extracted, analyzed and evaluated, but there’s some variety of alchemy that cannot be accounted for. I can’t entirely explain why listening to “Halo” leaves me feeling like I took a sledgehammer to the chest, it just does. There’s rational thought and then there’s big fucking tunes. The tunes will win out everytime.
[10]

Martin Skidmore: One of the singles of the year, for me. It might be Beyonce’s best vocal performance, restraining her bellowing tendencies despite the big Ryan Tedder production. It was originally intended for Leona, who might have made more of the emotion, except I fear she may have lacked the power to rise above this production. Whatever, this is a beautiful and emotional record.
[9]

Alex Macpherson: Beyoncé’s shameless demand for a “Bleeding Air” of her very own has probably had the regrettable effect of extending Ryan Tedder’s hackish near-monopoly on pop diva balladry for an extra year. Still, she’s one of the few performers capable of lending this kind of hollow, empty bluster a genuine and undeniable power. Her all-conquering persona is a natural fit for the obvious, crashing crescendoes and gear-shift chord changes, while sheer force of character adds actual nuance to the song: broiling low notes in the first verse, soaring suddenly high to break through the clouds on the line “Hit me like a ray of sun” in the second.
[7]

Jordan Sargent: Every mega-successful producer gets to a point where their productions sound right off of a conveyer belt. What’s interesting about Ryan Tedder is that happened sometime around his second noteworthy production. “Halo” is another in a long line of loping, clomping ballads with a surface reading of even the most elementary of emotions; it prominently involves Beyonce yelling for little apparent reason. Please go away.
[4]

John Seroff: I’ve discussed my undying antipathy for Ryan Tedder on The Jukebox many a time. His production is striking primarily for its lack of imagination, soullessness and shallowly considered attempts at emotional manipulation. All of the ten-or-so Tedder-produced tracks I’ve choked down follow virtually the same exact, restrictive formula; his inability to explore outside a sappy balladeer boilerplate is constantly on display. I consider him something of a blight on the radio landscape, turning standard pop corn into a moldy, inedible mess. Beyonce represents a particularly hearty strain of maize; she sets the standard for what it takes to outshine Tedder’s banality. ‘Halo’ ain’t a silk purse, but it’s not half as pig-eared as it ought to be and that’s solely the credit of B’s “fuck-an-umbrella” bell-clear intonation and best-of-all-time, eyes-closed soul singin’.
[6]

Mallory O’Donnell: This is how you know Beyonce is a star. Jesus Christ swimming in a sea of retarded sexuality, a video co-star who seems more likely to do Beyonce’s hair than nail her, and an R&B beat produced by Journey. Yet not only is it actually released, it’s a bloody single. I will never walk into TJ Maxx again.
[2]

Anthony Miccio: This is truly remarkable psychedelia, with the drum machine sounding as drunk and discombobulated as Beyonce – I can’t imagine how it would sound if I actually was on 8 oz. of Robitussin. But with the woozy marvel of disassociation comes an intrinsic nauseousness.
[6]

Rodney J. Greene: Our hack Ryan Tedder acquits himself with something servicable, and our diva Beyonce kinda bungs things up, swallowing low notes and sending notes skyward that belong in more earthly climes.
[5]

Anthony Easton: The handclaps are fantastic, and her voice is beautiful, plus I always give a few extra points for any erotic songs that use religious metaphors… but it seems obvious and worn, the tricks used before to better effect.
[6]

Ian Mathers: Given the same basic backing track, Kelly Clarkson and Beyond both erect outsized power ballads on top, but Clarkson’s is longer, sadder, and more heartfelt; Beyonce’s, however, has better production and singing. I prefer “Already Gone,” but the surprise for me is that I actually have time for both.
[7]

Edward Okulicz: If “If I Were A Boy” was the knockout punch, this is sort of like being kicked while still down. Where Kelly Clarkson used the beat to craft a wounded song that only lifted in the chorus in “Already Gone”, “Halo” is majestic if not quite holy from start to finish.
[8]

Martin Kavka: This isn’t my favorite love song on I Am…Sasha Fierce. That would be “Hello.” (I’m waiting for future singles “Hilo” and “Hollow,” as well as her jingle for Hulu.) But I’ve invested a lot of emotional energy in Beyoncé over the last fifteen months, and “Halo” is part of the reason why. No one in pop today is as persuasive as she is when she claims that abandoning yourself to love (even, and perhaps especially, after you’ve been hurt) is the most glorious possibility in human life. She’s a warrior for this sentiment: the crunchy beats of “Halo,” so anomalous for such a tender song, make this crystal clear. Are you listening, Lady GaGa?
[8]

Melissa Bradshaw: Beyonce achieves operatic yet ethereal songwriting maturity, and (as usual) makes one feel inadequate and envious in the process.
[10]

Matt Cibula: My daughter, age 14: “I liked it back in June, don’t know why everyone’s only getting it into it now but everyone likes it at my school. It’s cool because it’s slow but it’s not really a ballad, more like just a statement.” Beyoncé loses me at the end with the creepy cooing noises but yeah.
[7]

Additional Scores

Chris Boeckmann: [4]
Jonathan Bradley: [3]
Chuck Eddy: [5]