The Singles Jukebox

Remind you of anyone?…

[Video][Website]
[5.86]

Patrick St. Michel: First, I’m happy that, for the video to this song, Tuuli decided to borrow a bunch of ideas from Kyary Pamyu Pamyu’s clip for “PonPonPon.” Not just because I love any excuse to post that, but because there is something heartening in knowing a 13-year-old Finnish girl watched the video for a song that at one point was number one on the Finnish iTunes charts and was inspired by it (this isn’t me making stuff up). Anyway, the music… is way less interesting to write about. It’s bouncy electro-pop locked into one groove and content to follow it for the whole song. Worth an extra point for the “ah ha ah ha,” but that’s about it. 
[5]

Will Adams: Why does this rather good song have a 71% disapproval rating on YouTube? It’s not the music, which I suspect might actually be a Body Talk demo, all sparkly synthbeds an pathos. It’s not the lyrics, which, according to rough translation, are actually quite sad and moving: “No one gets to know… what my secrets are/Nevertheless there’s a storm inside me.” It’s not her voice, weak in places but for the most part expressive. It’s definitely not legions of Rebecca Black stans who claim the video cribs from “Friday”‘s (though really, the classroom bits are less “Friday” and more fellow Ark alum Alana Lee). It might be legions of Kyary Pamyu Pamyu stans angered by the video’s admittedly blatant “Pon Pon Pon” references. But would that account for all of the ire directed at something so inoffensive? Maybe, though I suspect there may be something more sinister at play, and I don’t really want to find out what that is.
[7]

Iain Mew: I’m generally well disposed to Nordic synth-pop. This song initially struck me as a competent and bouncy example of it but just didn’t stand out, apart from being a bit more processed-sounding than normal. Then I watched the video, and experience the song tied to Tuuli realising her Kyary Pamyu Pamyu dreams enhanced it to the point where I now hear personality in the song that I didn’t before.
[7]

Brad Shoup: It’s got a great hook. And the translators score again (“I talk to people/some very famous words”). When she sings about secrets, the melody takes off; the exterior is saddled with monotone. If you want to make that a credit, go ahead. Another 30 plays and I might be on board.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: EXCLUSIVE JUKEBOX BEHIND-THE-SCENES REVEAL! Me, to the listserv, 3:05 a.m.: “WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME TUULI RELEASED A NEW SONG. Internet!” Me, to the listserv, 3:07 a.m.: “…actually, scratch that, it is Not The Band. Which would explain why nobody told me. MOVING RIGHT ALONG.” After I realized this wasn’t teenage pop-punk (what do you mean it wasn’t plausible? If Ashlee can pivot to this with “Bat for a Heart” after comparable years, couldn’t they? What do you mean it just means “wind”? Oh…) but teenage pop-viral, things naturally got disappointing. The track sounding like Robyn at half speed and half oxygen reassured me a little. But just a little.
[5]

Jonathan Bogart: Pretty, twinkly, and not terrible competent: exactly what a thirtysomething dude who hasn’t listened to the radio since he was in middle school imagines all music aimed at thirteen-year-old girls sounds like. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it did; but it doesn’t. Not in the West, anyway.
[6]

Edward Okulicz: Reportedly a huge viral craze in Finland, with nearly as many views as Finns, and almost no other exposure; all I can say is that if this is seen as laugh at loud funny, Finnish people either listen to far too much or far too little death metal. “Salaisuudet” is perky, loveable but forgettable dance pop, which puts it light years ahead of the sound it’s emulating. The video makes me glad that idolising Asian pop looks has spread to the northernmost extremes of Europe, and giddy with the thought of what the Nordics might do with it next. So I approve of this as a warning salvo, with the hope of greater things to come.
[6]