Take one drink for each 1D comparison. You’ve now drunk enough to kill all four members of Union J.

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[4.09]

Edward Okulicz: Someone may have thought that The Wanted might be better if one of their songs had the same crunch as Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” As dubious a thought as this might seem, for the length of “Carry You,” it’s basically correct. The chorus is a little clumsy, especially when it doesn’t have a pile-on of sound to break the fall of that ungainly and ungraceful (if affecting and infectious) hook, but the middle-eight is the stuff the dreams of teenage girls (and some boys) are made of.
[7]

Alfred Soto: The falsetto leap in the chorus is the year’s most hideous hook. Surrounding it on either side are sawtooth synths, the aural equivalent of this. 
[1]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: The opening bars to “Carry You” are very safe indeed: some self-affirming Important Piano reverberating into the distance, barely-there bass, synth swirls foreshadowing the inevitable four-on-the-floor thump. But before the vocals can begin, there is a moment so distracting that, regarding the context it’s birthed into, it seems daring: the piano in the third measure plays off-beat. Such a small decision seems foolish to get up in arms over, but when it audibly results in a stilted opening vocal engineered for a mass audience, it verges on self-sabotage. The measures inbetweeen are gradually filled in, marking a less jarring transition between each vocalist’s turn. Even as “Carry You” piles musical twitch upon musical twitch, the skeleton of the track remains curiously in flux. It’s indicative of a lack of care from the hands of not just the producers and songwriters. The clumsiness of the song’s opening – and its gradual burying by instrumental clutter – offer an insight into the rare moments when accidents happen in major label pop. It also drives home just how on-the-ball pop music needs to be when created for mass-market consumption, even for something as cookie-cutter as Union J.
[3]

Patrick St. Michel: These guys sure seem to be having fun. going in this One Direction, I sure hope they feel Wanted by all the attention I’m sure they deserve = )
[2]

Brad Shoup: I’m convinced that every single song we’ve ever covered is destined for categorization and inclusion in some future .RAR or torrent or streaming playlist. “Carry You” sounds like any 35-year-old songwriter’s demo in the Mercury pile, but who’s to say it won’t one day be appraised as an “I Owe You Nothing“-style masterpiece? Me, if I fucking have anything to do with it.
[3]

Scott Mildenhall: Union J provided one of the best moments of last year’s X Factor when, in their post-elimination reprise of Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” and in a seeming acknowledgement of the sexuality of their frontman, Jaymi, they kept the lyrics in tact, without the clumsy genderflipping they were made to employ in their first performance. Although it wasn’t any big deal (no-one seemed to notice, really), in a show that doggedly erases all and any suggestions of sexuality beyond hetero save for when played for laughs, it was pretty cool — heartwarming even. Going forward, it’ll be interesting to see what they do with Jaymi. Have any mainstream boyband in the world ever launched with a gay member? They could pointedly market him as The Gay One but, thankfully, don’t seem to have yet. Some acknowledgement in the music would be nice though, and there isn’t any in “Carry You.” That said, it takes a different tack to most boyband singles in that it’s more easily read as an anthem for brotherhood than a serenade to a girl, the titular vow coming from the same line of symbolism as “He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” Musically, it’s certainly closer to One Direction (though they’ve never yodelled so well), but the best bit is when it sounds like it’s going to turn into (trans: rips off) “Waiting For Tonight”.
[7]

Iain Mew: Doesn’t actually sound that much like One Direction, but it is a massive undeniable chorus in desperate search for any kind of song to attach itself to in just the same way as “What Makes You Beautiful” was. The drippiness here works with the chorus a bit better than the perkiness there did though.
[5]

Will Adams: Learn to carry a melody first.
[4]

Ian Mathers: Top Comments: “this is about union j, don’t comment about one direction -.-” GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. (If nothing else, this feels very post-1D just in terms of how supportive it is; but right now those “you-UUUUU”s are going the wrong way for me. I concede that they could flip. Also not sure the rave synths were a good fit this time out, although they’re pretty much de rigeur now, right?)
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: More like Union J. Lo. All four points for that bit.
[4]

David Lee: Hairstyles do not a One Direction make.
[4]