The Singles Jukebox

We cram sexy down your throat!

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[5.71]

Anthony Easton: The whistle that starts this introduces a level of excitement that is hinted at but not delivered at by the rest of the song. The carnival ramps only half way, whispering if you want to go faster. Lopez’s verses roll a hip, but fail to shake the ass. Martin’s voice suggests some previous heat, but is now just lukewarm. All of this adds up to a stew that just fails to congeal. I am disappointed. 
[6]

Alfred Soto: Why these loudmouths get the lines and energy is beyond me — the lines barely scan anyway. Not like Jennifer Lopez shows much charisma; she still sings like she pressed the “affectless” preset on a Casio.
[3]

Megan Harrington: I am so relieved to find that in the stylish post-apocalyptic dystopia of “Adrenalina” catchiness is still at a pop premium. 
[8]

Brad Shoup: The guitars are so tiny, I don’t know why they’re here. But I’m digressing from those Bahian drums, promising import only partially fulfilled. Wisin’s vocal doubling — let alone those sections where Lopez piles on — adds resonance, and Martin’s getting a head start on his inevitable yet still inexplicable creaky wisdom phase. Really, it’s all transporting except for Wisin’s rap. Don’t run from Lopez!
[7]

Katherine St Asaph: As promised, three minutes of pure adrenaline burst. Sadly, the track lasts four.
[6]

Mallory O’Donnell: Wisin’s served up something a bit more rhythmically compelling than your average crossover banger, with lots of good bits that get lost in the too-rapid shuffle of the tracks’ many interesting parts.  J. Lo and Ri. Ma add nothing to the party but the stiff whiff of obsolescence. 
[4]

Edward Okulicz: It’s “The Cup of Life” rebooted for 2014! Brazil, here we come! Wait, it’s not? It should be! Wisin’s syllables spray everywhere like the’ve come out of a busted food processor. J.Lo’s tastes-like-chicken vocal was born for this kind of anonymous hook singing, I’ve kind of missed that in-hindsight super-brief period when Ricky Martin was going to be the biggest pop star in decades, though that might not survive more exposure than he has on this. There’s a Spanglish version because Americans prefer total nonsense using words they know (that’s not what adrenaline is, you guys). It’s a headache because it’s a party and everyone on the planet is invited and they’re all bashing on drums. Fun seldom sounds this oppressive, but it just about works.
[6]