The Singles Jukebox

And the hits keep… not coming…

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[3.33]

Alfred Soto: I would like anything other than this standard kinetic thumper.
[2]

Katie Gill: The treatment and in-your-face nature of “under your sexy body” both by Larsson’s voice and the modified voice is just so blatant and awful that it ruins an otherwise halfway decent song. “Show, don’t tell” is a useful rule in screenwriting — this song proves it should be applied to songwriting just as often.
[4]

Will Rivitz: The general rule in storytelling is “show, don’t tell”; whatever scene you’re weaving has much more power if you’re not spoon-feeding every emotion to your audience. “[I would] like to get under your sexy body” is a tell, not a show, and the line — both its lyrics and delivery — is definitively not sexy. It’s endemic of the song as a whole, which feels less like a true slightly off-house smash and more like a cheap facsimile of one.
[4]

Ryo Miyauchi: If there’s one situation you shouldn’t screw up a voice, it’s when you’re laying a come-on. It’s set up nicely, she hits it with the soft punchline, but when she follows up, she sounds like a croaking toad. At least you can wash it out with a solid beat immediately after.
[6]

Micha Cavaseno: The “Dilemma”-esque “oh!” punctuations are okay at best, but the vocal performance from Zara here is particularly bunk, and to be honest this is a house template that’s become very done to death over the course of the last year, written like a Jason Derulo filler track. Utterly forgettable and embarrassingly under-thought.
[2]

Katherine St Asaph: Sole point of distinction: the hilarious overpoliteness of “I would like” for the subject matter, except I’m not entirely sure Zara Larsson gets the joke.
[3]

Thomas Inskeep: I thought that Larsson was better than lyrics like “I would like to get to know you baby/Like to get under your sexy body,” but clearly, I was wrong. Her singles discography is, sadly, nothing but increasingly diminishing returns.
[2]

Ramzi Awn: The overproduction on this uninventive offering from Zara Larsson is unfortunate. For a song about body heat, it leaves you awfully cold. 
[2]

Megan Harrington: One of the current flavors in meme is the bait and switch. It’s the premise of dark Kermit and what she said vs. what she meant. The text is deceptive, the subtext promises the dead, stinking rat. “I Would Like” is amorphously sexual, it’s heatseeking and any live body will satisfy its biblical urge. But like the meme punchline, the interior of this earworm is sick viral sludge. From the cocoon bursts forth an enormous waspish insect, flying right at your face and hissing binary code. It wants your personal data, it wants your credit card information, it wants a list of your last twenty purchases. You vainly try to shield your soul from view, as if that’s what “I Would Like” wants to get to know, baby. 
[5]