The Singles Jukebox

Continuing in today’s partial theme of “please stop remixing great songs and turning them into fodder”: this.

[Video][Website]
[3.38]

Edward Okulicz: “Ain’t Nobody” is a classic because it’s a strong and pliable song. As much as I feel like I’ve known it all my life, I think I first heard the Jaki Graham cover from 1994, which is dated but works because of its swing and its strength. And the song’s pliability was proven by Richard X and Liberty X‘s swirling but strident take which depicted the desire as something deep as a black hole, sucking everything into it. Jasmine Thompson’s performance more or less takes it to the point of straining if not breaking, because her Ellie Goulding impression (which I confused for the real thing when I heard it in the native environment of Ellie Goulding singles, that being the frozen food section of the supermarket) takes the needy and makes it clingy. In truth, this arrangement is boring as batshit but it gets some points for being “Ain’t Nobody.”
[4]

Will Adams: A classic drained of its blood, drowned in reverb and performed by someone who is not Ellie Goulding but really wants to be.
[4]

Alfred Soto: As fearsome as “I Feel For You” is, “Ain’t Nobody” is its match, remaking and remodeling the clavinet part in “Tell Me Something Good” with synthesizers and a stuttering backbeat, honoring Chaka Khan’s commitment to black history by putting her up against a gospel-inspired call-and-response chorus. Replacing these elements with a marimba and organ is one thing; Thompson’s inert vocal is another. Then again, maybe Arto Lindsay on his late ’90s bossa ‘n’ bass records could have reinvented this for a new age.
[3]

Jonathan Bogart: If I’m comparing against the sonic sameness of pop-house songs in 2015, it’s an [8]. If I’m comparing it against the thrust and howl of Chaka Khan’s original, it’s a [4]. So split the difference.
[6]

Micha Cavaseno: The ultimate problem with EDM’s ascent into pop is how this isn’t even really EDM. This is a very normal pop song that just has electronic backing, and the production (which is really nothing of note beyond a marimba melody and ol’ reliable four to the floor) for some will-o-the-wisp voice that 3 years ago was accompanying acoustic guitar strums only. While the big names in EDM are at least always making attempts to be noteworthy in the grander scheme of things with unusual samples or stylistic daredevil moves, there are plenty of the Wingers of “EDM” who are out for a quick buck and will no doubt do very well for themselves. The problem comes from the fact that with this glut of pointlessly constructed pop in the skeleton of dance, how much longer will this style be relied upon?
[2]

Brad Shoup: Don’t be fooled by the false ending around 2:05, otherwise you’ll miss the sound of a dog stifling hiccups followed by a Christmas commercial.
[3]

Thomas Inskeep: A 12-year-old is far too young by, oh, at least 20 years, to get the emotion required to sing Rufus and Chaka Khan’s “Ain’t Nobody” — and Jasmine Thompson’s voice is also far, far too thin. And Felix Jaehn is far too untalented to remix, well, anything. “Tropical house” my ass. It wasn’t bad enough that he inflicted “Cheerleader” on the world?
[2]

Rebecca A. Gowns: Cute idea, but I don’t think I’ll ever be in the mood for watered-down, mouse-ified Chaka Khan.
[3]