The Singles Jukebox

Sticking with that band name, it seems…

[Video][Website]
[2.90]

Iain Mew: Slaves are still labouring under the misapprehension that it’s 1977 and their shtick is shocking to someone, but never fear, here are Chase & Status to update them to 1996! Maybe even, at a push, 2001! It’s stupid fun right up to the point where they start intoning dictionary definitions, and I start wondering when the MS Paint red line conspiracy graphics are going to come out.
[3]

Scott Mildenhall: Could it possibly be serious? Could it possibly not be serious? Their name aside, Slaves’ website URL is youareallslaves.com, so make of that what you will. Chase & Status have carried off this intensity far more believably in the past — with Mali on “Let You Go” or Nneka’s “Heartbeat”, for instance — but they weren’t quite so LOLsome. “Control” is presumably intended for people who thought “Eez-eh” just didn’t fully get to the depths of the issues, or the depths of absurdity. They’re aiming for “Breathe”, but they’re nearer “Baby’s Got A Temper”, and as performed by Angry Kid. Put the music to a melody and it could be pretty good, but it would be a shame for this never to have existed.
[5]

Megan Harrington: I’m not saying it would make “Control” a better song by any conventional metric, but I would like it better if there was no British accent. 
[3]

Micha Cavaseno: Now that arena dubstep is over, former arena drum & bass act Chase & Status have taken a surprising sort of career path. “EDM, or house, or something, right Max?” you ask, weary of the fact these schmucks couldn’t get the Nicki Minaj reversion of “Saxon” on Rated R like we’d hope to. And the answer is no. They’ve become pop producers in that Mark Ronson role, trying to do everything but pop. Most recently, they attempted making fake grime and road rap for Novelist and Giggs, respectively, to reasonable effect. Now, they’ve got Slaves (WHO ARE STILL HERE FOR SOME REASON) warping their generic sort of post-nu metal anti-society middle fingers into electronically tinged Prodigy rave-rawk. As corny as it is, I think it’s safe to say that in their understanding of dynamic and continuously surprising reach of musical tastes, Chase & Status have given Slaves their most effective single. Whatever that’s worth.
[5]

Alfred Soto: “It’s not mah plahn/I don’t wanna be that maaaan” shouted over Limp Bizkit guitar + beats — believe me, I hoped for something stupid and got moronic instead.
[3]

Cassy Gress: I was a little amused by the incessant “That’s not my plan / I don’t wanna be that man”, and then all of a sudden it’s 1997 and I’m listening to Juno Reactor!  And then I’m listening to the end of any one of a hundred Muse songs!  The lyrics for this are pretty inane, particularly when we get to the literal dictionary definition of control (“CONTROL. VERB.”) and this isn’t a particularly good Juno Reactor/Muse rendition.  
[4]

Madeleine Lee: Remind me enough of Big Shiny Tunes 2 and I’ll forgive a multitude of sins, but when they broke out the dictionary I groaned out loud. I guess that’s the kind of dead earnest outlook you need to stay committed to that fucking name (and all of these names, including the song’s, are terrible).
[1]

Will Adams: An embarrassing mess even before the dictionary recitation, “Control” has no use besides soundtracking those twenty-minute YouTube videos made in Windows Movie Maker about how George Bush is in the Illuminati or some shit. Really, when I’m confronted with an opening like “ORDERS ARE ORDERS ARE ORDERS,” I can’t do anything else but hope that they’re taking the piss while being terrified that they aren’t. Chase & Status, who I took interest in after their work on Rated R, don’t bring much here beyond a stale rock-D&B template; I could be listening to Pendulum instead.
[2]

Patrick St. Michel: Lots of contenders for funniest moment of “Control,” but for me it comes down to the guy from Slaves sounding like a chav trying to say “hors d’oeuvre” for the first time ever and the pre-chorus bit where his screaming slowly morphs into something resembling a baby.
[1]

Brad Shoup: Oh, honey. I guess this is Chase & Status’ take on industrial, if this were, like, the tissue industry. If you told me Banksy ghostwrote this, I’d believe you.
[2]