Thursday, March 21st, 2019

Dean Lewis – 7 Minutes

Once I was 7 minutes old…

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Is this satire

Alfred Soto: Life was so simple for this curly-haired simp that he forgot he loved her.

Iris Xie: I let out an involuntary “no!” when I heard the incredibly sandpaper-like “rhyme” of “Now I sink a little deeper, think a little clearer” but it managed to offend again with “I forgot to love you, love you, love you” by being both abridged and incredibly tuneless. Both of these melodies are hacky because it uses volume instead of musicality to express sentiments, and that ends up being noise. Listening to a folk-pop song like this without good toplines becomes the equivalent white-knuckling your way through a frustrating conversation — you can’t even respond back to it, so it’s just pure dribble.

Iain Mew: There’s song construction where you can see the joins, and then there’s song construction where you can see the entire clumsy process of three first goes being sticky-taped together in a panicked frenzy to fill the space. It’s the way the “once I was 7 minutes old” conceit doesn’t last beyond the first half-verse. It’s the way that he can’t make up his mind between whether he’s focused on the break-up or looking back, and makes little attempt to reconcile the two. The grim, detached obviousness of the “Chasing Cars” reference, where just about any song title ever would fulfil the same narrative purpose. It’s the “I forgot to love you” chorus as a potentially both sad and uplifting moment, entirely reliant on a foundation of any kind of demonstration of that forgetting, when that foundation is nowhere to be found. If the musical construction was as Escher that would at least be entertaining, but of course it’s the opposite. The only small relief is that the Bastille lift of the chorus at least means that there is one musical moment when he deviates from The Script.

Katherine St Asaph: There are two varyingly mean jokes I could make about this song/specifically its title, but it reminds me juuust enough of “Pinch Me” that I’ll refrain.

Will Adams: “Is Ed Sheeran a genre?” Iris wondered earlier this month, and we all shared a good laugh. Little did we know what awaited us.

Edward Okulicz: I’ll admit it, not bothering to give a nice low score to “Be Alright” was one of the my mistakes of 2018, especially now it’s spreading. This, his recent single, is worse somehow, a big melting pot of generic male sad pop rock cliches and a chorus about forgetting to love that, well, say what you want about Ed Sheeran, and I know we do on this site, but he’d never, ever write something that fucking dumb. It’s the sort of thing someone says when they won’t own up to more tangible relationship crimes, and here it’s the sort of thing someone says when they can’t think of a better way of eliciting sympathy from a listener.

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2 Responses to “Dean Lewis – 7 Minutes”

  1. The sub head is SENDING ME

  2. I fully expect this to be a worldwide hit in 6 months.