Wednesday, June 9th, 2021

Dead Blonde – Мальчик на девятке

From St. Petersburg, a synthwave club banger — or, should we say, Yoshi’s Island Door 3-core?


Dorian Sinclair: Internet funnyman Brian David Gilbert has a spotify playlist titled “castle chase music” (the perfect music for being chased through a castle). It’s a somewhat loose definition, but the hallmarks are minor modalities, pulsing synth, and a certain melodramatic grandeur. All-time greats of the genre include “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)“, “Lay All Your Love on Me“, and Susanne Sundfør’s “Accelerate“. Now, “Мальчик на девятке” is not as good as any of these songs. But it’s part of a storied lineage, and I would be more than happy to hear it while being chased through a castle.

Mark Sinker: Retro-electro-pop by numbers, including lin-drums even. The component parts — melody, harmony, rhythm, you know — are screaming at one another to be less clunky and lumpen and more slinky, to plane the big knobby corners off of everything and fun up.

Nortey Dowuona: The chanting synth bass lifts up the lead synths as they run around the house. Dead Blonde dryly offers the bass money to chase the baby lead synth, then rushes after it with a few of their echoes. But the lead synths have hidden underneath the basement drums, then the baby lead synth kicks the door into the hinge and runs away. Nonplussed, Dead Blonde shoves the door open and gives chase, running into a spiderweb of the baby lead synth’s diapers. She trips and falls, knocked out.

Katherine St Asaph: File under songs I want to throw into Audiosurf immediately, as well as songs you can sing “Call the Ships to Port” over, though it’s probably closer in execution to “Dragostea din Tei.”

Juana Giaimo: I can see this working on a crowded and noisy dance floor at night — the opening synth is easy to recognize and the kind of spoken vocal melody easy to sing euphorically. But in my room, it’s a fun and spooky song that I’ll forget tomorrow. 

Samson Savill de Jong: This bangs. It bangs in all the ways you’d expect a club banger to bang, but it bangs nevertheless. There’s not a lot complex or innovative here (barring the lyrics, which are a wild ride, but not something I’d necessarily pay attention to even if I were fluent in Russian), but do you need to be complex or innovative when you can just bang? Nyet.

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