Hard out here for a followup single…

[Video][Website]
[4.00]

Katherine St Asaph: After “Hard Out Here” was roundly criticized, Lily Allen responds with a fuck-the-haters song. It’s the worst stance you can take — haters can be right — and Allen’s particularly brazen; she compares herself to martyred Kurt Cobain, then puts “shake it” and trap percussion on the bridge after calling that brainless. Not that it’ll matter. “Hard Out Here” has enough genuine fans to get away with the former, and the latter’s probably lost in crossover translation; “Air Balloon” isn’t written by longtime producer Greg Kurstin but Shellback (if “Hard Out Here” weren’t so topical, we’d be discussing her Big Pop Move) and is engineered to soar. Allen contributes her usual playground clap-chant and spontaneity quirk (“let’s go, right now” is straight out of some manic pixie dialogue book, chapter “Adventures”); the chorus is a pop drop then lift like “Paper Planes” via Cher Lloyd and Victoria Justice. It’s so ebullient, so tested and undeniable, that it almost convinces you to go fuck yourself.
[3]

Cédric Le Merrer: In the meeting room we last saw at the beginning of the “Best Song Ever” video, sometime after “Hard Out Here” was released: “On this next chart, you will see Lily Allen’s chart performances correlated with various qualities. As you can see, ‘Ironic’ — yes, John, I know we really should call it ‘Sarcastic’, now go tell that to Alanis’ account manager and make him laugh — so, ‘Ironic’, as I was saying, was one of the qualities most used at launch, but it really is not a sufficiently reliable factor of success. ‘Feminism’ is virtually irrelevant, and we all remember what happened with ‘Topical’. What we found in this latest study is that another quality, present in some of her songs all along, can almost guarantee we make it to the Top 5. We’d labelled that quality ‘Quirkiness’ but it wasn’t a good descriptor of what we needed to look for. Gentlemen, for the next Lily Allen single, the data shows we need to turn ‘Annoyingness’ to eleven. Is Mika available? Or better yet, someone who had a hit in the last five years who could do “Annoying” like him?”
[3]

Brad Shoup: A bubblegum center with an oblique fame-centric shell that’s only going to taste odder with age. I’m betting the singalong bit, two-fingered keyboard riff and the cadence on the title will become the main notes. It’s very much like Cher Lloyd’s first few singles, and nothing like Allen’s last.
[7]

Jonathan Bradley: Shellback prods Allen’s dishwater vocal into something that almost sounds anonymous, but she still uses it for a “nyah-nyah-nyah” chant that is the chorus equivalent of getting bubblegum stuck in your hair. All this over sub-Jibbs synth plinks and a lyric that, by the second line, has descended to — I am not making this up — the anti-sequiturial “Did I ever tell you my uncle’s monkey ran away from the zoo?” She rhymes it with “Timbuktu,” as if she were an Empire-era picture book narrator spinning tall tales of distant colonial exotica. This is shockingly lazy, even by Allen’s standard. I do not understand why she has fans; do people enjoy being treated so disrespectfully?
[1]

Alfred Soto: Months after surprising rockcrit with the kind of cultural commentary that turns Buzzfeed into laughing stocks among respectable types who are better off as ombudsmen, Lily Allen collaborates with Shellback on a track requiring “hip-hop” dance moves (think Nicki Minaj) and all manner of unseemly gyrations. Of course she’s up for it! Her sardonic talk-singing knows the difference between parodying phrases like “shake it now” and submitting to their rhythmic possibilities.
[7]

Anthony Easton: Not long after Tex Ritter died, Dolly recorded a reworking of his “Hillbilly Heaven” that added Ritter’s name. Ritter’s track was a liturgy about getting the band together. It’s nothing new, but I like the idea of adding a new verse or a new name when someone passes. It seems both respectful and vernacular. I am sure that something has been done like this with rock, but this pop melange that seeks Cobain is neither. But I cannot imagine an artist working today that could actually make it work.
[3]

Patrick St. Michel: Sometimes it’s OK to read the comments. Lily Allen seemingly dismisses “Air Balloon” in the top post for her new song, comparing it to her cover of a Keane song for a Christmas campaign. As schmaltzy as her bear/hare tune was, it at least tried to sound emotional instead of cloyingly twee. From the pirate-shanty verses to the head-scratching Kurt Cobain/Elvis lyrics (is… is she dead?) to the nyas that sound like she has taffy stuck between her teeth, this tries way too hard to be cute (until the breakdown late, which is totally out of place). The song does plenty to dim any excitement for Lily Allen’s slowly sinking return, and that’s before she says it for you.
[3]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: So. Deep breaths everyone, we’re not discussing “Hard Out Here” anymore — for better or worse, I’ve momentarily fallen out with friends over Allen’s misguided/admirably politicised clusterbomb. “Air Balloon” is far more bearable than the backfiring busy-busy toxins of its predecessor, with a fine chorus and crystal production quality. Yet this feels rushed — the budget whimsy of the metaphor is undercooked, the ramble-song hook is budget Arulpragasam and the snark is budget Lily. Alright, still?
[6]

Crystal Leww: Oh, I see that Lily Allen has moved away from being actively terrible to just boring and kind of grating. I liked it better when Charli XCX was the one yelling “Ha!” Oh well, baby steps back to daring and interesting, I guess.
[4]

Edward Okulicz: In intent, if not exactly in sound, this is so clearly an attempt to cross-breed the appeal of Lorde, M.I.A. and Cher Lloyd that I’m impressed by the lowest-common-denominator appeasing. Not impressed by anything else, and that “air balloon, air balloon” hook is excruciating.
[3]