Congratulations to our highest scoring track for the day!

[Video]
[3.83]

Andy Hutchins: Loco, in general, shouldn’t be nearly this droning, but I’m not sure DJ Snake — a Frenchman releasing an album featuring the Arc de Triomphe on its cover whose only hits of recent vintage are Spanish-heavy — knows how to make anything else at this juncture. Any credit worth bestowing for J Balvin briefly making me wonder whether grandma’s oatmeal should shake, much less how, is quickly countered by all the warranted demerits for turning to Tyga so he can extend his decade-long streak of wack verses by rhyming clock with watch and sound as if he has exhausted his Spanish vocabulary after saying salsa and muy caliente.
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Joshua Lu: “Loco Contigo” feels too measured, almost to the point of tediousness, for a song ostensibly about going crazy for someone. DJ Snake’s production is unyieldingly steady, and the two vocalists contribute bars that come across too dilatory in pace. The only convincingly offbeat part of the song is when J Balvin sings, “You shake it like my grandma’s oatmeal,” which instills an image in my head that I wish I could erase. (n.b.: Google Translate thinks the line is “You beat him like grandma’s oats,” which is similarly disarming.)
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Michael Hong: J Balvin might be reggaeton’s most consistent act, and that’s no exception on “Loco Contigo,” as he shapeshifts from sounding like liquid honey on the chorus to a lively verse across DJ Snake’s versatile shuffle of a beat. With the number of singles and features J Balvin’s released recently, it seems like we should have heard everything he’s capable of, but J Balvin still manages to keep it fresh. However, there’s one feature too many, as Tyga manages to overstay his welcome — or rather unwelcome; he drains J Balvin’s hard-earned charisma out of the track.
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Nortey Dowuona: Whispery, feathery synths hover in the back as crisp, rigid percussion goose steps all over a dulled J Balvin while Tyga picks his nose.
[3]

Anaïs Escobar Mathers: A reggaeton-feeling bop but not much stands out here. The performances here are a little bit low energy and sort of same note throughout; I kept hoping something would pop a bit more. Not bad but not especially memorable either. 
[5]

Julian Axelrod: Besides a hard drive of pitched-up Bieber vocals, I couldn’t tell you what DJ Snake brings to the table. But that anonymity is what makes Snake such a reliable hitmaker: When the guests are good, he’s more than happy to stay out of the way. As one of the best duet partners in the biz, J Balvin feels like the perfect feature for this brand of mindless mirage. He’s consistently capable of making whoever’s beside him look good, even when he’s paired with the moan of a dying cyborg cow. Contrast that with Tyga, whose aimless mutter brings out the blandness of a basic beat. Just as we’re starting to pick up speed, he hits the skids and spins his wheels.
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