Imagine the reverse: The Weeknd – “Eden xo.”

[Video][Website]
[3.33]

Katherine St Asaph: After being unceremoniously recycled by Max Martin and Britney Spears (they made up, or at least she opened for her), having the ripped song covered by Heidi Montag, releasing tracks ranging from good to OK to horribly overwritten, from 2010 electro to Xenomania to whatever the hell this was, Jessie Malakouti has finally scored something resembling a hit by… emulating Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” I don’t understand anything. One point because having previously heard all the preceding singles makes me actually sorta believe her, or because I guess I’m just that much of a Shut Up Stella fan.
[1]

Will Adams: It makes Meghan Trainor seem tolerable by comparison.
[2]

Edward Okulicz: The thing about “Friday” was that the chorus was not just its best bit but legitimately good. This chorus just has me wanting to age 30 years so I can have a walking stick to shake it at Jessie Malakouti while yelling at her to act her damned age.
[2]

Micha Cavaseno: The audio equivalent of the campaign to reclaim being a basic. Those interludes preceding the verses are the kind of things that cause people to turn into those little toy collapsing fox guys. You hear this and just think “Man, what the point is?” and give up, because somebody apparently gave up even TRYING to think of a good song here.
[1]

Iain Mew: Started from the bottom, now we about level with Cher Lloyd at her worst.
[4]

Alfred Soto: The sparkling arrangement — harpsichord and synthesized marimba — suggests a Vampire Weekend track spit polished and offered to any producer who still thinks “Friday” deserves further emulation. Eden xo does.
[5]

Crystal Leww: “The Weekend” could draw a million comparisons without anything really sticking: could be Miley without the wild-eyed earnestness, could be Bonnie McKee without the winking self-awareness, heck, could even be Katy Perry without the smash hit producers. In other words, “The Weekend” is inferior to a lot of things.
[3]

Patrick St. Michel: The Rugrats gone trap vibe sounds even creepier than it reads, and I can’t tell whether the character in this is middle-class or just low-tier celebrity (who has a team up in Paris?). But can’t deny that late song bridge.
[5]

Brad Shoup: I’m glad she mentioned tamales cuz this is the corniest thing I’ve heard this year.
[7]