The Singles Jukebox

Let’s call this the “Swalla” aftertaste.

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[3.57]

Alex Ostroff: A few years ago Derulo put out some unexpectedly great pop songs, albeit in the form of sonic Michael Jackson cosplay. Unfortunately, he seems to have returned to competent but unremarkable tunes of the vaguely sleazy variety. French Montana opens his verse by chanting, “Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek,” like a strip club metronome. If this isn’t self-parody, it’s only because “Wiggle” already exists. Points mostly for the dancehall sample that opens the track, which is easily the best thing here.
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Julian Baldsing: I’m not sure what’s more exhausting: Jason’s Axe commercial persona; the first ten seconds of French’s verse; or the knowledge that even after Derulo’s career reaches an end, it has still made enough impact on Liam Payne to ensure we’ll be followed by variations of this song for many years to come.
[2]

Alfred Soto: This pair looks like they’d get on: same taste in strippers and rappers. Except French is coming off “Unforgettable” and it’s been almost three years since Derulo’s “Want to Want Me.” The hook has a K-pop rush and a hint of genuine weirdness that I would’ve been beyond the abilities of these dudes, but the rest of “Tip Toe” has the aerobicized joylessness of a deodorant ad. Bet Jason smells particularly yummy.
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Micha Cavaseno: Derulo apparently deciding “Swalla” should be a “Talk Dirty”-style formula he’s beholden to is a terrible pitfall because while “Swalla” did succeed, here it is mostly an exercise in cynical trend chasing and removes any sort of room for weirdness. “Tip Toe” is everything we’ve already heard before, except dulled down even further in the hopes that it can assure a follow-up, and with less of the pop-dancehall charms (debatable as they may be) of its predecessor. Pretty embarrassing, given that Derulo’s proven he can exceed expectations time and time again.
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Stephen Eisermann: Jason Derulo’s tired schtick lives on: hot beat, unsexy sexual lyrics, and a feature that outshines his performance. French Montana’s flow really does elevate an otherwise tired track, though, so major kudos to him.
[4]

Katherine St Asaph: Do you realize Jason Derulo’s career is almost a decade old? About the same amount of time as Usher to Confessions! There’s something admirable about releasing songs in the same perfectly OK tier for 10 years. But you’d think the improbability of it would make him more supportive of new artists. Like by crediting Soaky Siren. Although given that she’s signed to Prescription Songs, maybe for once that isn’t devaluing female vocalists, but optics (I mean, lol no, but…).
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Will Adams: Encouraging people to dance en pointe while they’re in the club and likely tipsy seems like a… bad idea. Worse idea is thinking that “Swalla” was enough of a success to warrant a dialed-down sequel.
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