The Singles Jukebox

Met her on a Monday. Took her for some blurbs on Tuesday…

[Video]
[5.78]

Alex Clifton: Fits in the grand tradition of debut solo singles that proudly declare “I was in a boyband, but now I am an ADULT MAN who FUCKS.” Which, to be clear, is not inherently bad, and I do not envy anyone who has to make this transition, but it’s a bit predictable. Jung Kook’s vocal performance is winsome, and he sounds good, but half the chorus just listing out the days of the week sounds lazy, and the rap portion doesn’t add a Latto. Did you just groan because that pun was too obvious? Awesome, now you know how I felt after I heard this. 
[5]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Jung Kook promising to “fuck you right,” “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,” “seven days a week, every hour, every minute, every second” sounds like an exhausting proposition. Why make sex sound like a sweatshop? “Seven” gives Zayn “Pillowtalk” levels of desperation in trying to let us know he has had S-E-X. Except at least “Pillowtalk” didn’t sound like a Kidz Bop track. 
[2]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The kind of goofily horny R&B-pop crossover single that I thought had gone completely extinct from the charts — it’s charming to see it return in a sleek, hyper-streaming optimized form that still manages to retain enough ridiculous notes to stick out. When Jung Kook goes through the days of the week (one of my favorite dumb as rocks songwriting tropes) in order to emphasize that he’ll be “[Loving and/or Fucking] you right” you believe him, because who would declare that without a deep well of sincerity informing it. Even a guest verse from noted fraudulent radio figure Latto works — she’s best in small doses, anyways, and the ’00s pop hit cosplay wouldn’t be complete with a clumsy guest verse that’s 20% more overt than the rest of the song, anyways. Am I perhaps overrating this just so I can give it a [7]? Sure, yeah, why not — but this song has genuinely grown on me, too.
[7]

Taylor Alatorre: Both the clean and the explicit versions of the chorus sound wrong somehow — the former like it’s been sanitized by bureaucratic fiat, the latter like it’s trying to prove an uncomfortable point to me. So they end up canceling each other out, and what was intended as an ode to persistence in love(making) instead becomes a breezy devotional to the circular nature of time. I considered awarding a bonus point because my mom really likes it, but then I would’ve had to do the same for the Beatles song because of my dad.
[6]

Michelle Myers: Self-consciousness is the enemy of great art, and Jung Kook has had the eyes of the world on him since adolescence. In its attempt to be everything to everyone, this song ends up sounding like nothing.
[3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: BTS ruined K-pop. And really, I would be saying the same for any group that catapulted the genre to unprecedented levels of international success. The most noxious repercussion is that K-pop’s adventurousness is now of a different sort; with more eyes on every major K-pop act, and the possibility of Western success always within reach, the genre-blending and scrappiness that I loved in years past is now tempered if not nonexistent. I should hate Jung Kook’s take on Craig David-era 2-step — where’s the jarring modulation that made f(x)’s “4 Walls” a delight, or the distinctly Korean pathos that made SHINee’s “Prism” an emotive scorcher? And yet, it does offer something to a Korean American like me that I’ve never heard from any other K-pop song: its marketing mirrors my dual realities. The music video is my public-facing side, showing prudence and decorum when in front of my parents, or whenever I’m forced to represent Asian America; the explicit version is what everyone else gets to see. In a different timeline, EXO would’ve released a “Call Me Daddy” version to American audiences. Close enough.
[6]

Claire Biddles: I don’t listen to K-pop because I’m scared: I have seen what it has done to others and I don’t have the capacity in my life, hindbrain or bank account for the havoc it could wreak. Just the other week, my friend posted on Instagram stories that she had spent upwards of $50 on a Korean magazine because it had someone from BTS on the cover — I already have plenty of boys I have to budget import magazine money for without factoring in an entire untapped musical genre. I must be on cognitive autopilot when I add this track to my innocent little ‘TSJ amnesty’ Spotify playlist; when I pop the playlist on shuffle over the weekend when I go out to run some errands; when I absent-mindedly put it to the beginning again because its catchiness is undeniable. It’s only when I go to put it on repeat to save my efforts that I realise… Jung Kook… haven’t I heard that name before? And that album cover, the seductive greens and golds, the mesh shirt… the unmistakable, nay eternal, image of the edgiest member of the boyband striking out solo… a vision recurring throughout my life, on and off for 30 years like a tattooed, floppy-haired holy resurrection. Wait a second… does he have a lip ring?? I’m opening tabs rapidly, the song still repeating, the details of his multiple piercings revealing themselves to me like so many shots to the heart. I open Instagram to message my friend with the $50 Korean magazine. Does she know him? Does she know? But of course, how could I be so foolish! It’s the same someone from BTS! This vision, this 2006 emo prince singing an anxious J*stin T*mberlake version of “7 Days”! Wait — he has rubbish tattoos?? A whole sleeve of them?? I have so much to learn and it feels like no time to find out. Somewhere, some supernatural someone is rolling their eyes, laughing at my folly — the ultimate mark for this little demon and I thought I could just avoid him with my weak mortal scheming?
[8]

Crystal Leww: I would let Jung Kook call me noona. 
[7]

Katherine St Asaph: The UK garage revival arrived fast; I feel like I’ve heard like three attempts in the past few months alone to remake Craig David’s “7 Days.” While it is very funny to witness Melody Maker eat even more shit at exponential pace, at some point this sound will start sounding boring. That point has not yet arrived.
[7]

Michael Hong: Three things stunt this cute little 2-step number: 1) the syllabic phrasing can be awkward (also did you really need the devotion line twice); 2) Latto upstages Jung Kook just by biting down on the word “cheatin’,” but we’ll blame that on “Seven” not being in his native language; and 3) the chorus’ overenthusiasm tempers any of the song’s sexiness. 
[5]

Brad Shoup: Fantastically desperate and horny 2-step. It turns out the second step is “contract a UTI”. Latto is playful where Jung Kook is plaintive, and her feature ends up as a tribute to another pop song about infinite intercourse: Ludacris’s “What’s Your Fantasy?”
[7]

Nortey Dowuona: The acoustic cover version guitar lick that girds this song surprisingly does not actually change throughout the song. It’s just pushed further and further into the back of the mix, removed for a little drum bit, then loops continuously in the back. The rest of the song continues, adding synth chords and bass, until the Latto verse appears and comfortably skips alongside the drums, a seemingly perfect addition that is gone so quickly that once the guitar lick appears in the final chorus, it feels more comforting that if you couldn’t handle the intrusion, here’s the stabilizing element in the rest of the song to scoop you up and send you off!
[6]

Ian Mathers: Just to go behind the curtain a bit, when we all reconvened at the palatial Singles Jukebox estate to discuss a possible amnesty, “Seven” was easily the song I heard the most from my colleagues as something we needed to cover where I had so not heard of it I had to look it up to even find out who the artist was. Since my colleagues are, to a person, savvy and discerning music appreciators, I fully expected such a groundswell of support to signal something that would knock my socks off. I am sorry to report that, no doubt due to a flaw in my own character, the only things I truly enjoyed about the song were (in ascending order) 3. the percussion track 2. Latto’s whole thing 1. just how relentlessly and catastrophically over it the girlfriend actress in the video is (until the end… you wish they could have committed to the bit; probably bad for the brand). But hey, the part where he opens the coffin is probably the hardest I’ve laughed at a music video all year, that’s good for an extra point.
[6]

Aaron Bergstrom: As far as spotlight stealing goes, it’s not quite Nicki’s verse on “Monster,” but for these three minutes Latto is a kinetic revelation and Jung Kook is just some guy who won’t stop listing the days of the week.
[5]

Anna Suiter: When I first saw the name of Jung Kook’s single “Seven”, I assumed that it was be a follow-up to “Begin”, his solo on the Wings album in 2016. Unlike the rest of the band’s solos, he had no writing credit on it, and the lyrics weren’t really about him either. With Jung Kook about to go to the army, I assumed that this would be sentimental, another ode to how much he appreciated the rest of group. “Seven” is all about Jung Kook, Latto, and whoever he’s talking to, though, and that’s way better.
[8]

Kayla Beardslee: 1) This is one of the more significant data points in the current UK garage revival. Tonally, it leans less heart-eyes crush a la NewJeans and more by-the-numbers fuckboi. (Which are numbers that we should probably be trying to bring down.) 2) Yes, Jung Kook wants everyone to know that he fucks, and I’m sure it would make this song more interesting if I cared, but, like, I don’t. Are there people who prefer Enrique’s “Tonight I’m Fucking You” version? 3) This solo debut (not just “Seven,” but the whole album) is a very convincing turn at the role of Anglosphere main pop boy, down to the names in the credits. The thing is, I go to K-pop to escape the Anglosphere pop boys. I don’t want more Biebers or Puths or Mendeses, though they have their place in the pop ecosystem; what I want is to see the guys putting in some effort to be weird and bold and not just palatable. (3a) Obviously, “Standing Next to You” is glorious ’80s cheese with exactly the kind of theatrics I love, no notes — except that yeah, Jung Kook’s trying hard to convince you that he, cough, loves in that song too, but there it’s so dramatic that it loops back around to being fun.) 4) Even if this is exactly the song and album that Jung Kook wanted to make, I don’t hear a lot of passion in it, which makes for a tough sell considering “Seven” is a track about desire and devotion. Mostly what I hear is the careful weighing of image-crafting and marketability (which most big pop singles have, but some disguise better than others). 5) Hybe is so greedy for interested in the American market that none of this should come as a surprise. At the end of the day, Hybe is a business first and music producer second, and the commercial stakes were very high for a widely anticipated release from a member of its flagship act. 6) Latto’s verse comes dangerously close to eating Jung Kook up, which would have been bad for his big popstar debut moment. 7) Why was this not the only pop single this year whose hook was literally just naming the days of the week? Stop it! You’re better than that! 8) Jung Kook sounds like he’s being possessed by Adam Levine on the hook, which works more against the score than anything else I’ve said. 9) This is a perfectly fine song! I casually enjoy it! But it’s more of a means to an end than anything else.
[6]

Anna Katrina Lockwood: All the Craig David quips in the world won’t disguise the fact that this song just isn’t that interesting. It’s a perfectly serviceable pop song, elevated by Jungkook’s weaponized charisma — but it doesn’t sound or feel like K-pop, and the only thing that’s really notable about it is the hilarious explicit lyric. There’s nothing wrong with making forms of pop music other than K-pop, of course, but as a fan of the genre, I have to say it’s a little disheartening that the main K-pop dude isn’t really making K-pop right now. Also, seven days a week? Who’s got the energy for that?! 
[5]

Jonathan Bradley: That sounds exhausting, Jung Kook.
[5]