The Singles Jukebox

Yes, Shakira was a singer first, but she was on The Voice so it counts…

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[5.67]

Scott Mildenhall: Is there any way Colombia could gain entrance into the EBU? Because in this they have a song capable of reaching the dizzy heights of around third at Eurovision. It’s attention-grabbing, the sort of thing intended to make a big impact on first hearing, on the night, and on the stage – it’s very easy to imagine the jolting cuts from ska to guitar (both provided by Lawson) soundtracking a pyro budget going up in smoke, heading into that universal wordless warble. On the stage Rihanna would detract – it doesn’t become the duet it would need to be until too late in the game – but as marquee features go, there’s a pleasing level of interaction between the performers. It doesn’t even need a Freemasons remix.
[7]

Anthony Easton: This should require an astrophysicist to measure impact. As it is, a regular geologist will do. I am disappointed. 
[4]

Alfred Soto: Rihanna sounds okay, god help me. It’s the rest — the guitars, the skank, Shakira’s animal cries. As ungainly as the title.
[4]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: Rihanna hasn’t been on something lilting and ska-like for a while, or something duly guitar-driven, which makes it a disappointment to hear her clock in and clock out. There’s a welcome lilt in her performance but she doesn’t add anything to the song, distracting from her host. As for her host, Shakira still has one of the most distinctive bleats in all music. She can make this song momentarily more interesting – otherwise this is a rocky bitter ode to growing over idiots that doesn’t have enough attitude. Too much moping, not enough moshing.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: Blown-out shiny ska, descriptions of desperate feelings, Shakira and Rihanna’s multiplicative Q score, but nothing — “kissing in the moonlight” is so trite it rounds down — to suggest any motivation.
[5]

Crystal Leww: The most bizarre aspect of this whole collaboration is that Erik Hassle is somehow involved in the writing credits, yet it kind of makes sense. His minor hit was him yelling about his feelings over marching, militant drums and some totally noticeable but not overwhelming guitar, much like this track. Rihanna doesn’t get enough credit for how much of a chameleon she is. This definitely sounds like a Shakira joint, but she more than holds her own here, fitting comfortably into this jam. It’s not Shakira’s best, and it’s not Rihanna’s best, but it’s still pretty good.
[6]

Brad Shoup: I know this is Shakira’s wheelhouse, but I’ve listened to so much of him in the last few months that this sounds like late-period Morrissey. The propulsion is lacking; sections hang in different rooms. I just wanna hear some ska.
[5]

Andy Hutchins: Both Shakira and Rihanna are among the more unappreciated vocalists of their respective peer groups (Shakira, by the way, is 36, which seems impossible until you remember that she basically had a first career in her college-aged years before breaking through in the States in her mid-20s), and both are in fine form thanks to some good writing that matches the rollicking production here. Three takeaways: a) More like Ska-kira. More like Rihan-ska; b) I would like to play Crazy Taxi to this; c) God, this is a nice change-up for a radio landscape that has a half-dozen interchangeable female vocals over EDM beats, “Timber,” Imagine Dragons, the other Rihanna hit of the moment, and that one Ellie Goulding song at the moment.
[8]

Will Adams: The propulsive pop-rock sound has worked for both Shakira and Rihanna before: “Don’t Bother” and “Shut Up and Drive,” respectively. It’s good to hear Rihanna sound more lively after a series of dour singles. It’s good to just hear Shakira in general. Admittedly, the title is far more confusing than it needs to be, and the pairing is more arbitrary than sensical. But the two sing so confidently here that I’m willing to be wooed.
[7]