Monday, December 18th, 2023

babyMINT – Hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty

We head into week two of Amnesty, and Crystal introduces us to Taiwanese reality TV…


[Video]
[7.59]

Crystal Leww: Sixteen is now nearly nine years old and it finally feels like we’ve achieved peak competition show in Asian pop, with three of the big four labels in K-pop coming out with their own versions this last year and increasingly more depressing formats. It’s unlikely that any group from NEXTGIRLZ will become the next TWICE (or even I.O.I… or even Kep1er…) but one of the joys of operating out of a smaller market in Taiwan is that it’s possible to get wilder. It’s possible that TPOP Entertainment and Wildfire Entertainment actually wanted a commercially viable group to debut but handing over control for babyMINT to producer AF resulted in something way funnier and something actually thrilling. “Hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい” is stuffed full of like twenty different ideas — like after the endless debates of “what is hyperpop,” AF said “fuck it, let’s put them all into one song.” This is like video game music, cheerleading music, meme music, regular pop music, idol music, rage music, and rave music all in one. Every moment in this is absolute nonsense (my favorite is the babytalk rapper in the 2nd (?) verse (?) imploring you to eat your green vegetables), a maximalist embrace that maybe nothing that is “good” matters, and yet, more than once this year, I have found myself singing along to “baby, please don’t 放开手!” babyMINT makes me feel young again.
[9]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I broke down in tears when I first heard this song. The only way to explain my reaction is that it’s similar to when you reflect on a relationship you have with someone you love, and how beautiful it is that you’ve come to understand who they are over many years and in many circumstances. They’ve remained inspiring, their presence indelible, and you know that there’s still more you’ll come to appreciate. This song is like that but with the past decade-plus of idol music.
[10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: One of those weird cases where getting too specific about any particular aspect of this would ruin the fun of experiencing “hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい” live for the first time — it’s the best time I’ve had listening to a pop song in… maybe ever?
[9]

Will Adams: The first 90 seconds was some of the most exhilarating music I’ve heard this year — MAKE. IT. FASTER. — and then it switched into some alternate universe Ariana Grande x Iggy Azalea song. They went back to the hyper-tempo, but by then the momentum was fully killed.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: I’m not sure what to make of this as a whole track, and I’m not sure I’m meant to. So, by parts: The part of this that sounds like the OST to Yoshi’s Cookie < the largely unfortunate rapping < the part that sounds like an Ariana Grande songwriting camp application, maybe competent but it's a tough market you know, < the idol-pop chorus that's competent, unqualified < the couple-seconds window where the rapping doesn't sound unfortunate, though every time I listen it feels like that window narrows < the kind of club thud you can just do whatever the fuck over without sacrificing bang < the piano line, twirling away behind most of these sections like a tinsel curtain < that club thud, being shouted over with factory-meltdown sirens.
[5]

Michelle Myers: Judging idol pop as music, in isolation from its visual elements, will always feel a little wrong to me. The live stage of this track is a [10] for me. From the bored flossing that starts this performance to the headbanging chaos at the end, the choreo is even more delightful than the music supporting it. Listening to this on my headphones, I can’t help but hear the seams between the disparate sections of this song. Linlin’s rap, which feels deft on stage, sounds rushed and sloppy here. I’m nitpicking, but only because this song absolutely slaps.
[9]

Rachel Saywitz: I could care less about the memeability of “hellokitty” — it’s too sincere to be a parody, and while I do find the earnestness preferable, the initial excitement I had for this ridiculously conceived track went away when I realized this wasn’t a full-on girl group concept, but a costume of sorts as babyMINT attempts various musical styles to win a competition show, wherein supposedly, their official concept is still not self-determined. But I also think that performativity makes it possible to fully sink into the track’s asinine lyrics and abrupt shift changes: these are girls playing a role, and doing so with a sprightly wink. There’s no joke to be in on, just a part to play.  
[6]

Taylor Alatorre: Hmm… come to think of it, being in the beginning stages of a relationship is sort of like being initiated into a new and unfamiliar subculture, whether that be otaku maid cafés, retro arcade games, idol groups, or… boba tea, I guess. Why has no one ever thought to put it like that before? Bonus point for the “ohmygah!” shout actually being transcribed as “omega,” which adds a theological tinge to what must be the sweetest-sounding memento mori ever committed to record.
[9]

Brad Shoup: A few years ago I wrote a career overview of Dave Matthews Band, because I do not back down from a challenge. In putting it together, I gained an appreciation for just how haunted their music is by death. Not loss, necessarily — though that’s a symptom — but the sense that a lifespan is short, so eat, drink, etc. For them, it’s a bittersweet realization, not something to rage against like some of their arena-filling elders. babyMINT spend more time on the eating and drinking, and I do appreciate them vocallzing a thought (“I will die, you will die”) I’ve had about 10 to 20 times a day for the past three years. But it’s cheap heat.
[5]

Alfred Soto: This deejay set/Stars on 45 approach to tempos and modes is fun for all ages, as I demonstrated last night by keeping it in the background while my nieces opened gifts. 
[7]

Ian Mathers: Hmm. I might need to up the amount of shitposting I consume.
[7]

Kayla Beardslee: You know some shit’s about to go down when the girl groups hit you with “Are you ready for this?” and then introduce a silly-sounding phrase over deceptively chirpy synths. Brace yourself for brain melting; you didn’t need those thoughts anyway.
[8]

Micha Cavaseno: A manic sugar-rush of getting pranked, viciously blending periods of pop in a way that puts the “hyper” back in “hyperpop.” I lost count of genre-jumps at a certain point, spotting at least five different songs where my review and consideration would be skewed only to get confronted with another one, so my sense of trying to provide an average based on any of these things is utterly overwhelmed. I’ll never figure out which of them locked me on target and killed me at this rate.
[8]

Nortey Dowuona: The first refrain is sped up. For what purpose I can’t really ascertain. For one, unless you have good breath control, you can’t keep and you might even fall off the rhythm, especially once it speeds up during the chorus. The pre chorus is as direct as one could be, with “I will die, you will die, baby/What a life, what a life/Why don’t we just right now/Step out to the balcony and put everything aside? Never mind,” ending with a reminder to not worry but to instead eat curry and drink boba instead. But the song completely splits apart, mixing up what it’s supposed to be done with curry and boba until it shatters completely and comes to a stop. Guess I’ll drink this curry?
[7]

Dorian Sinclair: This fall, many reviews of Super Mario Bros. Wonder made the same basic point: there are multiple mechanical ideas in that game that could sustain an entire platformer on their own, but in the context of Wonder are picked up and cast aside within a single level. That kind of creative “wastefulness” is in some ways the ultimate flex — you don’t need to explore the full potential of every good idea you have, because there’s always another one right around the corner. “hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい” has something similar going on: there are at least three killer melodic hooks, and that’s without considering other standout elements (that guitar skitter! the rhythmic use of the title phrase!), any one of which could be developed into a whole other song. There’s something thrilling about the speed and profligacy with which babyMINT chew through motifs here; I just hope they’re holding some back for future releases. 
[8]

Michael Hong: babyMINT were fascinating on arrival: it wasn’t just the stylized fashion of their name, or that they were under HIM International Music — the company that formed Mandopop’s only great girl group, S.H.E — their debut stage saw five members, including former Cherry Bullet member LinLin (cannot think about this fucking group without thinking about Bora being villain edited on Queendom Puzzle — compliment] — singing in a mixture of Mandarin, English, and Spanish in a manner that was both prim and tipsy over a Brazilian funk beat. Tuning in weekly yielded more rewarding thrills: “R!ng R!ng R!ng” is cursed doll drum ‘n’ bass and their Jersey club remix of “Nobody Loves U :(” dials up the jejune silliness of Karencici’s original. By this point, I was already all-in on babyMINT, a group helmed by a producer A.F who was weird as hell — he donned the alias of DJ Banana Hammock for their “R!ng R!ng R!ng” performance and committed to the bit each week — but had admittedly forgotten to check out “hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい” until two in the morning. I conked out with no recollection of the track — it’s pure sensory overload, impossible to retain any feeling on your first listen other than “Cool Japan!” and that this AF guy should seek help — the only evidence that I heard it was a series of texts that said, “oh my god… the new babyMINT song is so… i’m crying they are so good. i’m obsessed.” I’ve written about how all of it is primed for memeability — how the “now, speed up” sets my heart aflame, how the final screams of “drink curry, eat boba” are one of the few things in music that could ever elicit a laugh from me, how LinLin is perfectly charming on her silly little nonsensical rap — but the best part is that all of this is directed towards this lust for life. “I will die, you will die baby, what a life, what a life, why don’t we seize the moment?” ponders Lyu Hsi-yan, what should be nihilistic transforming into something celebratory. “I want to stay cute everyday!” she cheers earlier in the track. The two lines work hand-in-hand, as if each searching for some form of optimism. It’s an idol version of AF’s song for some competition show and hearing them side-by-side is just proof that this guy knows exactly how to make music for idols. This week, I’ve been giggling to myself over the line “每天多吃一點蔬菜… 這才是我的菜,” the latter part of which is just such an absolutely, unbelievably dumb pun. I play it in the car, to elicit groans, to cheer myself up. I catch myself muttering things from this damn song every day. babyMINT continued to offer surprises after this one. There’s this disgusting way one member from the group CRIMZON sings her line “be my bae honey, I can be your bunny” (compliment) on “DAAAAAMMMN” (and the way it builds to some club breakdown just to go nowhere is so funny), “GrAb Me If U CaN” is the last shred of hyperpop I’ll ever need to hear, “Ocean Bomb” is a delightfully cute post-NewJeans two-step number until LinLin raps about “Spongebob on her back,” and grand finale “2023: BBMeme Odyssey” is so delightfully weird and stupid and fun that it sent me into hysterics on first watch (please just click on the video and watch it, I don’t know how to describe what happens here; also Crystal asked me if they cut the one girl’s hair just so she could be the prince and it makes me laugh every time I watch this fucking performance). They’re the Mandopop artist who define the year, a group who were exactly as game as they needed to be to their producer’s weirdest antics, who knew exactly how weird to be to be memeable without playing themselves down.
[10]

Iain Mew: When I think of the most successful several-songs-in-one hits (“Biology“, “I Got a Boy“), I think of density of hooks and dizzying switches in style. I also think of how they have one melodic hook sweet enough to be first among equals, a unifying glow cast by those highs with “The way that we walk/The way that we talk…” and “I got a boy meotjin/I got a boy chakan”. Babymint take things further in the stylistic clashes, with some aggressive bosh and forceful rapping, not to mention ending in pretty much the same full-on fashion as The Knife’s “Full of Fire.” They do have a hook of more than equivalent sweetness, the “I will never let you go” section like “Super Shy” minus the shyness. That can’t take on the same role for the song though, because there just isn’t room to, not with the title section drilled in so hard before it even gets that far. So they play a very different game, seeding that phrase throughout but making it fit in with every different section anew. It’s audacious enough to make for a spectacular first listen, which makes sense in the context that it’s made for performance, and that they are not stars at the top of their game but a new group trying to grab attention. It works better than I expected for further listens because there’s a thematic trick to match the musical one. They say up front that they’re going to teach us a secret, and so it follows us through however far we go, presented like a universal cheat code. Everything dies, but babyMINT have taken these words and scattered them in time and space and maybe they will lead us through.
[7]

Reader average: [9.33] (6 votes)

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One Response to “babyMINT – Hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty”

  1. Hell yeah – this song just gets better with every listen